1
00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:05,519
Wakey wakey frosted flaky.

2
00:01:06,340 --> 00:01:13,180
Hey brought you a special present Come
on Storytime chicken

3
00:01:13,180 --> 00:01:16,180
nugget Rise and shine. Here we go.

4
00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:23,640
Clear eyes full hearts. Can't lose
Welcome back What's

5
00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:24,640
going on? Wait a minute?

6
00:01:24,860 --> 00:01:26,980
Where am I?

7
00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:30,900
Who dressed me? I did.

8
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:32,520
I'm a big fan of bears

9
00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:34,480
I'm not wearing pants.

10
00:01:34,620 --> 00:01:36,640
When's the last time you saw a bear
wearing pants?

11
00:01:37,540 --> 00:01:43,420
What the f... Easy now. Hey, the only
F-bomb we're using around here is Fred

12
00:01:43,420 --> 00:01:44,420
Savage.

13
00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:48,340
Now, I want you to take a deep breath
and listen to me very carefully,

14
00:01:48,460 --> 00:01:53,220
Frederick. You're in a PG-13 version of
Deadpool 2, which means we only get two

15
00:01:53,220 --> 00:01:55,700
s***, one f***, and a glass of white
wine.

16
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:57,560
Are you bleeping yourself?

17
00:01:57,940 --> 00:02:00,600
You bet your f***ing voice and little
f*** I am.

18
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,900
That seems weird that you would do that
yourself.

19
00:02:05,700 --> 00:02:09,320
Please stop that.

20
00:02:09,900 --> 00:02:10,900
Sorry.

21
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:19,220
Did you reconstruct the bedroom set from
the Princess Bride?

22
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:22,080
Inconceivable! Oh, God. Yeah, I always
wanted to say that.

23
00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:23,620
Felt real good.

24
00:02:23,700 --> 00:02:25,020
Why am I here?

25
00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:29,560
Well, the reason that you're voluntarily
here is so I could read you the story of

26
00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:31,420
Deadpool 2, filtered.

27
00:02:31,950 --> 00:02:33,530
through the prism of childlike
innocence.

28
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I'm a grown man. And nobody does
childlike innocence like you, Fred.

29
00:02:36,610 --> 00:02:40,170
Nobody. I need you almost as much as you
need me. I don't need you at all. You

30
00:02:40,170 --> 00:02:43,310
need me to untie you once we're done.

31
00:02:44,390 --> 00:02:46,230
Hey, easy, sugar mouth.

32
00:02:46,550 --> 00:02:49,130
This thing will go all day, all right?
Lithium ion batteries.

33
00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:53,250
Hey, you are going to love this story. I
promise you. It's got fencing, fighting,

34
00:02:53,430 --> 00:02:58,650
revenge, giants, monsters, true love,
and miracles.

35
00:03:00,750 --> 00:03:01,750
Now.

36
00:03:02,510 --> 00:03:06,830
Once upon a time, there was a boy named
Deadpool who starred in a surprisingly

37
00:03:06,830 --> 00:03:10,750
popular movie, which, in an industry
dominated by the exploitation of

38
00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:13,450
existing brands, demanded an immediate
sequel.

39
00:03:13,970 --> 00:03:19,310
And believe it or not, Deadpool 2 is a
family film. True story.

40
00:03:19,650 --> 00:03:23,310
And every good family film starts with a
vicious murder.

41
00:03:24,070 --> 00:03:28,190
Bambi, The Lion King, Saw VII, really
anything from Disney.

42
00:03:28,470 --> 00:03:30,810
And this family film is no different.

43
00:03:31,930 --> 00:03:34,630
Anyway, you know I get paid to take out
bad guys, right?

44
00:03:35,030 --> 00:03:39,430
Well, this guy... He was one of the
worst of them.

45
00:03:45,670 --> 00:03:47,290
A panic

46
00:03:47,290 --> 00:03:53,510
room?

47
00:03:53,870 --> 00:03:55,990
Really? Can you come out?

48
00:03:57,010 --> 00:03:59,650
I really have to go. It's my
anniversary.

49
00:04:06,540 --> 00:04:08,760
Over and over I hear people say, I just
don't have enough confidence.

50
00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:12,180
Listen, confidence is not something you
have. It's something you create.

51
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:14,140
And you can create it at any moment in
time.

52
00:04:14,460 --> 00:04:18,420
A sense of confidence is nothing but a
sense of power within yourself. Start

53
00:04:18,420 --> 00:04:19,420
that car!

54
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:20,560
Start that car!

55
00:04:21,399 --> 00:04:22,400
Do Pinder!

56
00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:23,700
Start that car!

57
00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:26,040
Oh,

58
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:33,900
I shit my pants. Actually,

59
00:04:33,980 --> 00:04:35,820
that may have been me.

60
00:04:36,190 --> 00:04:37,190
Oh, mission accomplished?

61
00:04:37,290 --> 00:04:38,770
Well, let George W. sort away.

62
00:04:39,130 --> 00:04:41,910
Can't stay in a panic room forever. Oh,
you're living the dreams, DP.

63
00:04:42,150 --> 00:04:44,850
It has been quite the run, Dopinder. And
who'd have thought?

64
00:04:45,370 --> 00:04:47,390
Now I'm talked about in the same
sentence as Jesus.

65
00:04:47,630 --> 00:04:48,630
And it.

66
00:04:48,670 --> 00:04:52,670
Passion of the Christ, then me. At least
domestically. We beat them overseas,

67
00:04:52,950 --> 00:04:54,230
where there's no such thing as religion.

68
00:04:54,790 --> 00:04:56,770
I do want to live the dreams, pool boy.

69
00:04:57,550 --> 00:04:59,330
Taxiing is not as sexy as it looks.

70
00:04:59,630 --> 00:05:01,330
I want to fill my... Pockets?

71
00:05:01,650 --> 00:05:02,650
What's your poison?

72
00:05:02,690 --> 00:05:04,090
Little, uh, Instagram?

73
00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:06,940
Can't maintain focus without buying
shoes online?

74
00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:09,000
Never experienced that last one.

75
00:05:09,740 --> 00:05:11,920
Talk to me, Goose. I was going to say
soul.

76
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:16,120
I want to fill my soul. I want to belong
to something like you, Pulsar.

77
00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:20,280
Lavender? You never cease to surprise
me.

78
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:24,180
You know, the depth of your heart is
extraordinary.

79
00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:29,520
We all need a sense of belonging. We all
need a genuine sense of home, a place...

80
00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:32,320
I want to become a contract killer. I'm
sorry. What did you say?

81
00:05:32,660 --> 00:05:36,580
Remember when I kidnapped Bandhu and
threatened him with great violence? You

82
00:05:36,580 --> 00:05:39,600
kind of killed him. And then remember
the movie interview with the vampire?

83
00:05:39,820 --> 00:05:44,020
Don't want to. When Tom Cruise fed
10-year-old Kirsten Dunn's blood for the

84
00:05:44,020 --> 00:05:49,360
first time and she looked up at his
smooth, handsome face and said,

85
00:05:50,170 --> 00:05:51,470
I want some more.

86
00:05:51,770 --> 00:05:55,410
Oh, fool, picture me, a 10-year-old
Kirsten Dunst.

87
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,250
I'll never not picture that.

88
00:05:59,290 --> 00:06:02,290
But I can't wait to never speak of this
as soon as possible.

89
00:06:03,290 --> 00:06:04,290
We're here.

90
00:06:07,930 --> 00:06:09,050
You're my Tom Cruise.

91
00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:10,510
And you're my Kirsten Dunst.

92
00:06:10,730 --> 00:06:11,810
Kirsten? Kirsten?

93
00:06:17,170 --> 00:06:18,170
Sorry I'm late.

94
00:06:18,830 --> 00:06:22,990
There was a bunch of handy, capable
children stuck in a tree. Nope.

95
00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:26,910
You're right. I was rounding up all the
gluten in the world and launching into

96
00:06:26,910 --> 00:06:29,230
space where it can't not hurt us ever
again.

97
00:06:29,610 --> 00:06:30,610
Try again.

98
00:06:31,450 --> 00:06:32,450
Diarrhea?

99
00:06:32,690 --> 00:06:36,930
We can't be sure till I get the suit
off, but all signs point to yes.

100
00:06:40,050 --> 00:06:41,810
Kiss me like you miss me, Red.

101
00:06:42,150 --> 00:06:43,150
Well, come here.

102
00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:58,600
Aren't you going to say it?

103
00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:00,019
Say what?

104
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:02,780
You know, the... The thing.

105
00:07:04,660 --> 00:07:05,660
What? Part.

106
00:07:06,100 --> 00:07:07,099
You know.

107
00:07:07,100 --> 00:07:10,100
You want to say the thing? Oh, you want
to say that from the... No. Is this a

108
00:07:10,100 --> 00:07:11,280
kissing part? I'm not going to say that.
Why?

109
00:07:12,180 --> 00:07:15,480
Because I don't think that's gross
anymore. I'm not 12, and I think a kiss

110
00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:17,600
is a very sweet, loving gesture between
two people.

111
00:07:17,900 --> 00:07:20,560
Unlike taping someone to a bed and
kidnapping.

112
00:07:20,860 --> 00:07:22,500
I did not kidnap you! All right?

113
00:07:22,940 --> 00:07:25,660
I like to call it unsolicited location
enhancement.

114
00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:27,600
Whatever. Yeah. Ball gag.

115
00:07:27,820 --> 00:07:31,840
I'm just saying that if you're gonna
force me to sit here and listen to this

116
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:35,920
crap, I'm gonna have thoughts, okay? I'm
gonna opine about things, all right? I'm

117
00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:38,560
an actor. I'm a director. I know. I love
Modern Family so much.

118
00:07:40,020 --> 00:07:44,040
The point is, you need to anchor the
story in believability, and I just don't

119
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:47,720
believe that she'd be kissing you. I
mean, she's gorgeous, and you're like,

120
00:07:47,740 --> 00:07:50,760
you know, if Rocky Dennis had a baby
with lava.

121
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,000
Hey.

122
00:07:52,420 --> 00:07:53,419
Zip it.

123
00:07:53,420 --> 00:07:56,600
All right, we already pay someone to say
stuff like that to me, okay? And you're

124
00:07:56,600 --> 00:08:00,380
wrong, because she would kiss me. She
loves my insides.

125
00:08:01,140 --> 00:08:02,140
Trust me.

126
00:08:02,260 --> 00:08:04,080
We all saw the first movie.

127
00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:05,360
You know, I didn't.

128
00:08:05,740 --> 00:08:07,200
I kind of prefer Marvel movies.

129
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:14,140
We are Marvel. Yeah, but you're, you
know, Marvel licensed by Fox.

130
00:08:14,380 --> 00:08:16,640
It's like if the Beatles were produced
by Nickelback.

131
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,980
It's music, but it sucks.

132
00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:21,920
Let's check on the nose for blood there.

133
00:08:23,290 --> 00:08:24,490
I love Nickelback.

134
00:08:24,710 --> 00:08:27,770
You get your dirty mitts off Chad
Kroger, and the joke's on you because

135
00:08:27,770 --> 00:08:30,410
Fox is being bought by Disney.

136
00:08:31,790 --> 00:08:32,789
Mouse ears.

137
00:08:32,890 --> 00:08:34,169
I think that puts the joke on you.

138
00:08:34,390 --> 00:08:37,150
Ears closed, mouth open. You were nicer
as a kid.

139
00:08:37,590 --> 00:08:38,590
Now, where was I?

140
00:08:39,970 --> 00:08:40,970
Right.

141
00:08:41,409 --> 00:08:45,890
Wade swept Vanessa into his finely toned
arms, and she kissed him with an

142
00:08:45,890 --> 00:08:47,390
expression that could mean only one
thing.

143
00:08:48,690 --> 00:08:49,690
True love.

144
00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:51,550
I want to shower and get out of this
suit.

145
00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:53,120
In that order.

146
00:08:53,340 --> 00:08:54,400
Don't you want your surprise?

147
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,060
Do I look like a patient burn victim?

148
00:08:57,020 --> 00:08:58,320
I got one for you, too.

149
00:08:59,460 --> 00:09:00,800
Happy anniversary, baby.

150
00:09:01,060 --> 00:09:02,700
Open, open, open, open, open.

151
00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:05,880
It's a skee-ball token.

152
00:09:06,540 --> 00:09:07,720
Our first date.

153
00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:09,120
Yep.

154
00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:11,980
That's genuine, high-grade lead.

155
00:09:20,670 --> 00:09:21,670
Open yours.

156
00:09:22,990 --> 00:09:28,210
Well, that's... That's just the most
beautiful thing that I've ever... I

157
00:09:28,210 --> 00:09:29,210
don't know what this is.

158
00:09:29,310 --> 00:09:30,310
My IUD.

159
00:09:31,150 --> 00:09:32,149
A bomb?

160
00:09:32,150 --> 00:09:34,310
No, dick for brains. My birth control
device.

161
00:09:35,410 --> 00:09:38,230
You mean your... Baby factory's open for
business.

162
00:09:38,690 --> 00:09:39,690
Oh, my God!

163
00:09:40,350 --> 00:09:45,530
Oh, my God! I want a boy or a little
girl. Definitely one or the other.

164
00:09:45,970 --> 00:09:48,890
Oh, and I want our kid to have only one
name.

165
00:09:49,599 --> 00:09:51,600
Like Cher or Todd.

166
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,880
You gotta put a baby in me first,
cowboy.

167
00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:55,939
Yes, I do.

168
00:09:55,940 --> 00:09:58,520
Let's watch some porn and show that bed
to his boss. Let's do that.

169
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:03,300
Papa, can you hear me?

170
00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:07,560
Papa, can you see me?

171
00:10:08,180 --> 00:10:10,080
Does this song sound familiar to you?

172
00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:13,780
May.

173
00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:16,980
Connor, if it's a boy.

174
00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:18,480
May, if it's a girl.

175
00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:22,580
So weird.

176
00:10:23,740 --> 00:10:25,820
Family was always an F word to me.

177
00:10:28,220 --> 00:10:30,620
Pile of shit father took off and bailed.

178
00:10:32,060 --> 00:10:35,360
I mean, it's not like I have a lot of
strong role models to draw off of for

179
00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:36,360
Todd.

180
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:39,780
Hey, look at me.

181
00:10:41,260 --> 00:10:43,180
You are not your father.

182
00:10:45,180 --> 00:10:48,760
Besides, I will never, ever...

183
00:10:49,420 --> 00:10:50,920
Let our child be named Todd.

184
00:10:52,260 --> 00:10:54,440
But here's the thing. Isn't that how it
always works?

185
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:58,680
Like in Star Wars, men are destined to
become their father.

186
00:10:59,580 --> 00:11:01,860
And then have consensual sex with their
sister.

187
00:11:02,660 --> 00:11:04,820
I think you missed big, big chunks of
that movie.

188
00:11:06,020 --> 00:11:08,040
No, I'm pretty sure Luke nailed her.

189
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:09,400
Maybe that's Empire.

190
00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:16,680
The point is, kids, they give us a
chance to be better than we are.

191
00:11:18,020 --> 00:11:25,020
Better than we... used to be you're a
lot smarter than i look i'm gonna go

192
00:11:25,020 --> 00:11:31,840
make dessert then let's make a super
baby what

193
00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:37,800
about crystal but with a k it's too
strippery kevin with a k

194
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:44,720
no too strippery too uh earl he's gonna
go straight

195
00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:47,000
to jail if you name him earl

196
00:11:47,770 --> 00:11:51,350
What about Bruce, you know?

197
00:11:51,810 --> 00:11:53,790
Get down. What?

198
00:12:17,010 --> 00:12:18,010
Baby?

199
00:12:18,230 --> 00:12:19,230
Baby?

200
00:12:22,550 --> 00:12:23,550
Okay.

201
00:12:23,850 --> 00:12:26,370
Thank God I didn't have to use the cream
cheese spreader.

202
00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:21,480
Wait, wait a minute.

203
00:13:21,860 --> 00:13:23,040
You fridged Vanessa?

204
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:25,680
Fridged? I don't know what that means.

205
00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:29,340
It's a comic book trope in which the
wife or the girlfriend of the hero dies

206
00:13:29,340 --> 00:13:31,700
in order to further said hero's
motivation or story.

207
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:35,920
Well, that sounds misogynistic. Yeah. It
reduces the woman to a plot device,

208
00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:39,000
existing in the film for no other reason
than to serve as a source of pain for

209
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:40,000
the hero.

210
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:41,940
Like Mufasa in The Lion King.

211
00:13:43,020 --> 00:13:44,720
Yeah, that's right. Like Mufasa from The
Lion King.

212
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:46,520
You got it.

213
00:13:58,760 --> 00:13:59,760
Ha-ha!

214
00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:22,300
Papa, can you hear me?

215
00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:27,880
Is this just me, or do you want to build
a snowman from Frozen sounds

216
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:30,520
suspiciously like Papa, can you hear me
from Yentl?

217
00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:33,660
Papa, can you hear me?

218
00:15:33,860 --> 00:15:36,060
Wait, you've been here for three days,
okay?

219
00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:40,460
Go home, take a shower. You smell like
Rush Limbaugh's couch cushions after

220
00:15:40,460 --> 00:15:42,080
Shark Week. I love Frozen.

221
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,840
I loved her. I loved her like an ocean
loves water.

222
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:47,640
An ocean is water.

223
00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:49,720
More importantly, I liked her.

224
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:51,920
I really liked her, you know?

225
00:15:52,820 --> 00:15:55,020
George Michael's right. I'm never gonna
dance again.

226
00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:56,280
Oh, God.

227
00:15:56,900 --> 00:15:57,900
He's dead, too.

228
00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:04,980
We still have Bowie. Mr. Paul David
Bowie is... Still with us.

229
00:16:05,900 --> 00:16:06,819
We do.

230
00:16:06,820 --> 00:16:07,980
We still have Bowie.

231
00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:09,680
I'm sorry.

232
00:16:09,980 --> 00:16:13,780
Shot after shot, it's not gonna change
the fact that I think you're... Are you

233
00:16:13,780 --> 00:16:16,140
pissing? Are you urinating right now?
You're making the face that you make

234
00:16:16,140 --> 00:16:17,140
when you urinate.

235
00:16:17,460 --> 00:16:18,980
Is he pissing? I'm on it.

236
00:16:19,550 --> 00:16:20,590
There you go. It's open there.

237
00:16:20,930 --> 00:16:24,910
If you want to be a contract killer, you
gotta handle a mop before you handle a

238
00:16:24,910 --> 00:16:27,810
gun. Although I don't quite understand
how they are at all similar.

239
00:16:28,190 --> 00:16:30,010
Well, they both have handles. Now leave
me.

240
00:16:31,150 --> 00:16:32,150
Go home, Wade.

241
00:16:32,790 --> 00:16:38,190
I don't have a home. You know, I'm
gonna... Okay, I'm fine. I'm fine.

242
00:16:38,870 --> 00:16:40,810
You know what fine stands for, Wade?

243
00:16:41,270 --> 00:16:43,970
F'd up, insecure, needy, and emotional.

244
00:16:44,990 --> 00:16:48,530
According to the... Kubler-Ross?

245
00:16:48,770 --> 00:16:52,750
Yeah. According to the Kubler-Ross
model, denial is just one of the five

246
00:16:52,750 --> 00:16:55,190
stages of grief. Jesus Christ, Buck.

247
00:16:56,110 --> 00:16:57,810
No more speaking lines for you.

248
00:17:26,569 --> 00:17:27,569
I'm thinking it over.

249
00:17:27,750 --> 00:17:28,750
Mother!

250
00:17:30,610 --> 00:17:33,830
What the hell are you doing here?

251
00:17:34,130 --> 00:17:35,430
Don't you know how to knock?

252
00:17:35,990 --> 00:17:37,290
I thought you saw me.

253
00:17:37,930 --> 00:17:39,010
With your ears.

254
00:17:39,630 --> 00:17:41,690
Lucky I didn't shoot you in the... The
wall?

255
00:17:41,890 --> 00:17:42,890
The refrigerator?

256
00:17:43,690 --> 00:17:49,290
I heard the news, sweetie.

257
00:17:49,730 --> 00:17:51,290
I'm very sorry, I am.

258
00:17:51,810 --> 00:17:53,330
What am I gonna do, Al?

259
00:17:53,950 --> 00:17:55,370
Probably something terrible.

260
00:17:56,860 --> 00:17:57,860
Knowing you.

261
00:17:58,100 --> 00:17:59,360
It was my fault.

262
00:18:00,860 --> 00:18:01,920
I did this.

263
00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:06,680
And all I want to do is grab her and see
her and tell her that I'm sorry and I

264
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:07,680
can't.

265
00:18:09,460 --> 00:18:10,460
She's gone.

266
00:18:10,780 --> 00:18:11,780
Now look, sugar.

267
00:18:12,100 --> 00:18:13,580
You need to just keep living.

268
00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:15,060
Thank you.

269
00:18:15,180 --> 00:18:17,740
Matthew McConaughey, your words are a
treasure.

270
00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:19,400
Listen to the pain.

271
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,940
It's both history teacher and fortune
teller.

272
00:18:23,220 --> 00:18:25,840
Pain teaches us who we are, Wade.

273
00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:29,520
Sometimes it's so bad, we feel like
we're dying.

274
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:33,440
But we can't really live till we die in
a little county.

275
00:18:39,020 --> 00:18:40,020
Precious, aren't they?

276
00:18:40,900 --> 00:18:41,900
Whoa!

277
00:18:42,220 --> 00:18:43,640
Are you a superhero?

278
00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:45,360
You bet your pigtail, sweetie.

279
00:18:45,740 --> 00:18:46,740
What's your name?

280
00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:48,680
Captain Delicious Pants.

281
00:18:49,180 --> 00:18:51,140
Who's Captain Delicious Pants?

282
00:18:58,670 --> 00:19:02,490
No, no, no, no, no. Come on. There's
like a hundred benches around here. Go

283
00:19:02,490 --> 00:19:03,490
find enough. Beat it.

284
00:19:03,850 --> 00:19:04,950
It's a free country.

285
00:19:05,650 --> 00:19:06,649
You're right.

286
00:19:06,650 --> 00:19:11,170
It is a free country. Hey, I wanted to
say I loved your working up.

287
00:19:11,430 --> 00:19:12,430
I'm sorry?

288
00:19:12,650 --> 00:19:13,650
No.

289
00:19:14,650 --> 00:19:15,650
I'm sorry.

290
00:19:15,670 --> 00:19:16,670
Whoa!

291
00:19:16,810 --> 00:19:18,210
What? You don't like up?

292
00:19:18,890 --> 00:19:20,410
There's got to be some way to die.

293
00:19:20,790 --> 00:19:22,730
I just need to die harder.

294
00:19:23,210 --> 00:19:24,210
Trademark Fox.

295
00:19:59,340 --> 00:20:02,140
Ness? Ness?

296
00:20:02,980 --> 00:20:04,380
Ness!

297
00:20:05,409 --> 00:20:07,910
Ness, there's something here. I can't
get to you.

298
00:20:09,770 --> 00:20:11,390
Your heart's not in the right place.

299
00:20:12,370 --> 00:20:13,610
Wait, hold on. What?

300
00:20:14,250 --> 00:20:16,630
Your heart's not in the right place.

301
00:20:16,930 --> 00:20:22,030
What do you mean my heart's not in the
right place? Turns out I can die a

302
00:20:22,030 --> 00:20:24,250
little. I just can't stay dead.

303
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:43,280
I'm terribly sorry for your loss, Wade.

304
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:44,640
You were broken.

305
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:47,740
Oh, I know that voice.

306
00:20:52,700 --> 00:20:54,280
Heart's in the right place.

307
00:20:54,580 --> 00:20:55,680
Hartzner, what does that mean?

308
00:20:55,900 --> 00:20:57,380
You've been asleep for three days.

309
00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:00,420
I took the liberty of dressing you. No
kidding.

310
00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:02,660
Why can't I finally die?

311
00:21:02,980 --> 00:21:04,280
Take your mask off, Wade.

312
00:21:04,500 --> 00:21:05,620
We must talk.

313
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:07,280
You need fresh start.

314
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:10,760
With training, you can be X-Men.

315
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:12,980
You're wasting your time, Shiny Jesus.

316
00:21:13,300 --> 00:21:14,340
I'm not X-Man material.

317
00:21:14,780 --> 00:21:15,780
Understatement of the year.

318
00:21:16,660 --> 00:21:17,660
Wade, Yukio.

319
00:21:18,180 --> 00:21:19,180
Yukio, Wade.

320
00:21:19,420 --> 00:21:22,040
What in the fudge-sicle is this?

321
00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:23,900
She's my girlfriend, you intolerant
sh... Whoa!

322
00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:26,520
Whoa! Pump the hate brakes, Fox and
friends.

323
00:21:26,780 --> 00:21:30,280
I'm just surprised anyone would date
you. Especially Pinkie Pie from My

324
00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:31,280
Little Pony.

325
00:21:31,300 --> 00:21:32,520
I like this guy.

326
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:34,440
Give him a chance.

327
00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:36,600
It's great seeing you like this.

328
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:38,640
Yeah.

329
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,700
Now, some ground rules while under our
roof.

330
00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:44,060
Rule number one.

331
00:21:44,340 --> 00:21:45,500
No killing.

332
00:21:46,060 --> 00:21:47,560
Anyone. Ever.

333
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:48,940
No matter how bad.

334
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:50,280
Rule two.

335
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:51,980
Label everything in the refrigerator.

336
00:21:52,540 --> 00:21:53,540
Wade?

337
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:55,080
Wade?

338
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:57,680
Wade! Don't try to chase me!

339
00:21:58,140 --> 00:21:59,740
I'm ready to be touched again.

340
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:02,740
All these elderly white men on the
walls.

341
00:22:02,940 --> 00:22:04,400
Should have brought my rape whistle.

342
00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:08,260
Those were already damaged after they
fell there!

343
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:12,040
What am I supposed to do around here
anyway? Sit in a share circle, talk

344
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:12,999
about my feelings?

345
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:14,600
And how would I do that exactly?

346
00:22:14,900 --> 00:22:18,020
Because... Where the hell is everyone?

347
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:21,800
It's always just you and Negasonic
Teenage Longest Name ever.

348
00:22:22,100 --> 00:22:23,920
I said no touching.

349
00:22:25,860 --> 00:22:30,520
You'd think the studio would throw us a
bone.

350
00:22:31,020 --> 00:22:32,800
One that doesn't end up in my mouth.

351
00:22:34,460 --> 00:22:37,500
The first movie made more money than the
guy who invented pants.

352
00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:41,700
Okay, they can't just dust off one of
the famous X-Men. How about that putz

353
00:22:41,700 --> 00:22:42,700
with the giant pigeon wings?

354
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:45,940
What do those do anyway, huh? Carry him
three feet off the ground to snatch up

355
00:22:45,940 --> 00:22:47,080
the nearest muffin crumb?

356
00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:48,800
No, no, no, no, no.

357
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:52,420
No. I am not X-Men material at all.

358
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:56,240
First off, I'm not even a virgin.

359
00:22:56,580 --> 00:23:02,240
Second, and more... I should have left
you in a self-pitying mess I found you

360
00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:05,160
in. But this is what friends do. They
show up.

361
00:23:05,500 --> 00:23:07,200
Not when convenient or easy.

362
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:08,559
Went hard.

363
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:10,960
And you always make it hard.

364
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,060
You are unwell.

365
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:18,620
I'm sticking my neck out bringing you
here. Wait. One of the assholes who

366
00:23:18,620 --> 00:23:19,860
killed Vanessa got away.

367
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:24,180
Oh, Jesus Christ.

368
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:26,560
I thought you were gonna kiss me for a
second there.

369
00:23:26,940 --> 00:23:29,140
Please, no, I wouldn't be able to stop
you if you did. Wait.

370
00:23:29,460 --> 00:23:33,400
Whoever they are, we track them down and
bring them to justice.

371
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:34,720
It was me.

372
00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:39,320
I'm the asshole who got away.

373
00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:42,700
I killed every last one of them, except
me.

374
00:23:43,860 --> 00:23:44,860
Couldn't kill me.

375
00:23:48,580 --> 00:23:50,120
We were gonna start a family.

376
00:23:52,220 --> 00:23:57,020
You know, we were, uh... We were gonna
be a family.

377
00:23:58,220 --> 00:23:59,220
Wait.

378
00:23:59,580 --> 00:24:00,580
Vanessa is gone.

379
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:02,440
She's not coming back.

380
00:24:03,620 --> 00:24:07,560
This may not be family you want, but
it's family you need.

381
00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:11,700
You have a good heart. It belongs here,
where it can grow.

382
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:14,080
What did you say?

383
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:17,380
About my heart?

384
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:24,540
I think I'm in the right place.

385
00:25:18,950 --> 00:25:20,110
Whoa, Cable?

386
00:25:21,050 --> 00:25:22,050
You got Cable?

387
00:25:22,790 --> 00:25:25,810
If I didn't know any better, I'd say
that you're getting into this.

388
00:25:26,010 --> 00:25:27,010
You know Cable?

389
00:25:27,290 --> 00:25:31,970
Uh, the biological son of Cyclops and
Madeline Pryor, Jean Grey's clone, half

390
00:25:31,970 --> 00:25:35,030
-brother to Rachel Summers and Nate
Grey, raised as the Asgani son and

391
00:25:35,030 --> 00:25:36,190
genetic template for strife.

392
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:39,560
From a possible alternate timeline,
having been taken as an infant to the

393
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:42,300
future and infected with a
techno-organic virus, I hope you have

394
00:25:42,300 --> 00:25:45,740
given this deeply nuanced and richly
layered backstory its due.

395
00:25:50,940 --> 00:25:52,600
Yeah, we're covering the time travel
stuff.

396
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:56,320
We have eight weeks of boot camp ahead
of us, men.

397
00:25:56,620 --> 00:25:59,400
That'll get us toned and prepared for
all manner of combat.

398
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:05,180
Not working out at all.

399
00:26:06,370 --> 00:26:07,370
Masking tape.

400
00:26:07,610 --> 00:26:09,670
It is no friend to chilled aluminum.

401
00:26:11,370 --> 00:26:14,170
Velcro. Color-coded, efficient,
environmentally friendly.

402
00:26:15,030 --> 00:26:16,450
Who is he talking to?

403
00:26:16,690 --> 00:26:20,210
Why is he dressed like a registered sex
offender? Can we focus for a moment,

404
00:26:20,270 --> 00:26:22,230
ladies? Please, we need to talk about
next month's meal plan.

405
00:26:22,550 --> 00:26:25,570
Obviously, everyone hated the ceviche. I
read the suggestion box.

406
00:26:25,810 --> 00:26:27,150
That's on me. I'm gonna stop you right
there.

407
00:26:27,570 --> 00:26:29,170
I see through this weak act.

408
00:26:29,730 --> 00:26:34,910
You may have fooled Colossus with this
nice guy shit, but not me.

409
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:36,439
Don't be mean.

410
00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:37,560
Back off, NTW.

411
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:38,920
No, no, no, no, no, no.

412
00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:40,040
Let her go.

413
00:26:40,360 --> 00:26:42,500
Let her go. It's okay. She has a right
to be skeptical.

414
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:44,040
Look at me.

415
00:26:44,860 --> 00:26:45,860
I'm an easy target.

416
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:49,940
You know, historically, mischief has
been my mistress.

417
00:26:50,180 --> 00:26:51,180
So I understand.

418
00:26:51,380 --> 00:26:56,220
But I like to think that you guys have
really rubbed off on me.

419
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,080
I like to think that I've rubbed off
around you, too.

420
00:27:00,420 --> 00:27:01,420
A lot.

421
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:03,980
And for the first time in a long
while...

422
00:27:07,950 --> 00:27:09,210
I accept your apology.

423
00:27:09,430 --> 00:27:10,430
I never apologized.

424
00:27:10,450 --> 00:27:11,590
I was talking to your heart.

425
00:27:11,870 --> 00:27:14,230
See? You're not lost cause you thought.

426
00:27:14,490 --> 00:27:15,490
I'm proud.

427
00:27:15,510 --> 00:27:18,910
You're everything I knew you can be.
Thank you, Colossus.

428
00:27:19,670 --> 00:27:22,870
Just trying to be the world's best
X-man. Sorry, X-person.

429
00:27:24,230 --> 00:27:26,850
Hmm. Something wrong with the soap.

430
00:27:27,290 --> 00:27:28,290
It's fine.

431
00:27:28,470 --> 00:27:30,770
I just filled it. Give it a few more
pumps there.

432
00:27:32,230 --> 00:27:35,990
Now, if you'll excuse me, it's dust
bunny season.

433
00:27:36,860 --> 00:27:38,120
And I'm hunting wabbits.

434
00:27:38,420 --> 00:27:39,420
Bye, Wade.

435
00:27:44,940 --> 00:27:45,940
Wade.

436
00:27:46,660 --> 00:27:47,660
Wade.

437
00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:53,520
Wade. Wade, I was just taking Cerebro
for a spin here. Looking deep into the

438
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:55,520
future. This thing.

439
00:27:55,820 --> 00:27:57,580
That's not how Cerebro works.

440
00:27:57,860 --> 00:27:59,320
Yes, yes, it is.

441
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:01,080
We have mission. We have mission.

442
00:28:01,300 --> 00:28:02,300
We do.

443
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:05,040
You do. You guys be safe out there. No.

444
00:28:05,420 --> 00:28:07,140
I want you to join. No, you want me to
join.

445
00:28:09,140 --> 00:28:10,140
I'm sorry, what?

446
00:28:10,420 --> 00:28:11,420
You are ready.

447
00:28:11,500 --> 00:28:14,840
That's a terrible idea and it's gonna
end badly. Be at the exit in five.

448
00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:23,180
Irene Merriweather, WHIT News, live here
at a breaking news situation at the

449
00:28:23,180 --> 00:28:27,780
Essex House for Mutant Rehabilitation. A
mutant boy is appearing to have some

450
00:28:27,780 --> 00:28:30,260
sort of an incident with police here
behind me.

451
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:34,380
There are two police vehicles that are
overturning the three open fires.

452
00:28:36,100 --> 00:28:37,120
I'll burn you!

453
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:38,740
You stay back!

454
00:28:57,290 --> 00:29:02,210
it appears as if the x-men are arriving
with scatter what appears to be a

455
00:29:02,210 --> 00:29:08,770
trainee everyone calm down the pros are
here i were the x-men dated

456
00:29:08,770 --> 00:29:14,390
metaphor for racism in the 60s so
respect at ease officer

457
00:29:14,390 --> 00:29:21,130
what are you doing my job you're the one
who said i was ready and i

458
00:29:21,130 --> 00:29:24,750
frankly disagree with you But here we
are, trying to overcome our differences.

459
00:29:24,950 --> 00:29:31,690
Like Beyonce says, please, please stop
cheating on me. Hey, this is the fifth

460
00:29:31,690 --> 00:29:34,230
incident. This kid needs to be in the
icebox, not here.

461
00:29:34,510 --> 00:29:37,110
Russell belongs in our care, not in
prison.

462
00:29:37,390 --> 00:29:39,470
I assure you, we have everything under
control.

463
00:29:39,830 --> 00:29:45,150
Not getting a real under control vibe
here, Marty. It is Glenn, isn't it?

464
00:29:45,230 --> 00:29:46,730
Daniel. I'll ask the questions, Miguel.

465
00:29:47,030 --> 00:29:48,290
Let me talk to the kid.

466
00:29:48,490 --> 00:29:50,890
You stay here with your weird...

467
00:29:51,550 --> 00:29:52,630
Secret sex lips.

468
00:29:54,990 --> 00:29:56,450
You want to die! This kid's adorable.

469
00:29:56,750 --> 00:29:59,970
I don't know why I packed the hollow
points. I'll burn your arms off! First

470
00:29:59,970 --> 00:30:01,530
day. I'm so nervous.

471
00:30:02,830 --> 00:30:04,390
Did you just say hollow points?

472
00:30:05,170 --> 00:30:07,510
Yeah. Probably should have brought a
super soaker.

473
00:30:08,670 --> 00:30:09,670
Hi there.

474
00:30:11,050 --> 00:30:13,330
Stay back or Justin Bieber dies.

475
00:30:14,410 --> 00:30:16,370
Justin Bieber. He called you Justin
Bieber.

476
00:30:18,050 --> 00:30:19,610
Hold on. Wait, wait, wait.

477
00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:22,800
Okay, let's not do whatever that is.

478
00:30:23,140 --> 00:30:25,820
Okay? Let's just talk. It's Russell,
right?

479
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:27,440
Fire fist.

480
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:32,040
Fire fist. Ooh, that's a great name.
Where does it burn? Just the fist or all

481
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:33,040
the way up to the elbow?

482
00:30:35,220 --> 00:30:39,500
Definitely all the way up to the elbow.

483
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:42,120
Come quietly, or there will be trouble.

484
00:30:42,820 --> 00:30:46,720
You stole that from Robocop. It's
Robocop. Just stand down.

485
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:48,260
You're embarrassing me. Look.

486
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:49,720
Fire fi...

487
00:30:49,820 --> 00:30:54,080
I can't say it. I'm so sorry.

488
00:30:54,360 --> 00:31:01,300
Oh, my God. That does it.

489
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:04,900
Put your hands behind your knees and get
down on your head now.

490
00:31:05,380 --> 00:31:08,880
Wait. What was first rule? Label
everything in the refrigerator.

491
00:31:09,380 --> 00:31:10,540
Do not escalate.

492
00:31:10,780 --> 00:31:11,960
Rules are meant to be broken.

493
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:14,560
That's the exact opposite of what
they're meant for.

494
00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:16,840
Come on. Fine.

495
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:18,940
I'll start from the beginning.

496
00:31:19,530 --> 00:31:22,450
My name is Deadpool, and I'm an X-Man.
Trainee!

497
00:31:22,950 --> 00:31:23,950
Shut it!

498
00:31:24,690 --> 00:31:26,910
Look, I get it.

499
00:31:28,170 --> 00:31:33,630
All right, you're scared, alone, you got
no family. What, I didn't have a family

500
00:31:33,630 --> 00:31:36,590
either, and you live in this dump. Well,
guess what? I used to live in a shithole

501
00:31:36,590 --> 00:31:37,590
just like it.

502
00:31:37,930 --> 00:31:38,930
But you know something?

503
00:31:39,230 --> 00:31:43,390
To make matters worse, it's a confusing
time in your life right now. Your body

504
00:31:43,390 --> 00:31:45,950
is going through some fiery changes.

505
00:31:46,350 --> 00:31:47,930
Too far. I went too far.

506
00:31:55,690 --> 00:31:56,750
That was effervescent.

507
00:31:57,890 --> 00:31:59,130
Stay in school, kid.

508
00:31:59,710 --> 00:32:01,470
Or don't. I didn't.

509
00:32:01,790 --> 00:32:02,790
I'm an X-Man.

510
00:32:03,630 --> 00:32:04,630
Trainee.

511
00:32:05,410 --> 00:32:06,409
Superhero landing.

512
00:32:06,410 --> 00:32:07,410
Coming up!

513
00:32:08,850 --> 00:32:09,850
Ooh!

514
00:32:11,150 --> 00:32:14,690
Oh! Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch,
ouch. Oh, God, that hurts.

515
00:32:35,500 --> 00:32:37,520
Get used to this X-Man shit.

516
00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:39,120
Trainee! Trainee!

517
00:32:39,740 --> 00:32:41,540
Got a power restraint on him, now!

518
00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:44,740
Calm down, Squirt. It's over. We got
you.

519
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:47,840
What's that do?

520
00:32:48,060 --> 00:32:49,160
Power dampening collar.

521
00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:51,080
Shuts down all mutant abilities.

522
00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:52,440
Can't get it off.

523
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:53,800
Unless you've got a grenade.

524
00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:55,099
Huh.

525
00:32:55,100 --> 00:32:56,880
Could've used one of those in the first
act.

526
00:32:57,320 --> 00:32:58,320
Thank you.

527
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:01,940
That was absolutely thrilling.

528
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:04,420
True heroism in action.

529
00:33:04,860 --> 00:33:05,940
We are in your debt.

530
00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:08,440
We can take it from here.

531
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:10,540
Take me to the icebox, please.

532
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:14,520
Anywhere's better than here. Believe me,
son, you do not want to go to the

533
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:17,020
icebox. Let's get you inside, young man.

534
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:18,580
No, no, wait, wait, wait.

535
00:33:18,780 --> 00:33:20,140
You just... You guys stay there.

536
00:33:29,540 --> 00:33:30,660
Those guys hurt you?

537
00:33:32,740 --> 00:33:33,740
Who?

538
00:33:36,490 --> 00:33:38,530
Baldilocks? Jared Kushner?

539
00:33:39,930 --> 00:33:40,930
Both of them?

540
00:33:45,290 --> 00:33:48,150
Ah, screw it. Four or five moments!

541
00:33:48,450 --> 00:33:49,450
I'm sorry?

542
00:33:49,630 --> 00:33:52,310
Four or five moments.

543
00:33:54,130 --> 00:33:57,110
That's all it takes to be a hero.

544
00:33:57,850 --> 00:33:59,570
People think you wake up a hero.

545
00:34:00,190 --> 00:34:01,630
Brush your teeth a hero.

546
00:34:02,330 --> 00:34:04,530
Make love to a soap dispenser a hero.

547
00:34:06,110 --> 00:34:10,690
But no, being a hero takes only a few
moments.

548
00:34:11,510 --> 00:34:15,949
A few moments doing the ugly stuff no
one else will do.

549
00:34:18,370 --> 00:34:19,370
No!

550
00:34:20,429 --> 00:34:21,429
Boom!

551
00:34:22,469 --> 00:34:23,469
What?

552
00:34:23,949 --> 00:34:25,090
What did you do?

553
00:34:25,409 --> 00:34:27,030
That kid was abused.

554
00:34:27,290 --> 00:34:29,150
You can tell. You can always tell. We
have rules.

555
00:34:29,550 --> 00:34:33,550
You are not judge, jury, or executioner.
Forget your rules.

556
00:34:33,870 --> 00:34:35,110
I fight for what's right.

557
00:34:35,420 --> 00:34:36,840
And sometimes you gotta fight dirty.

558
00:34:37,100 --> 00:34:39,659
You've let me down for the last time,
boy.

559
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:43,300
Get these guys in the pod.

560
00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:44,780
Take them to the icebox.

561
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:08,200
Wonder what gang I'll be in.

562
00:35:10,420 --> 00:35:12,120
Is there like a sorting hat?

563
00:35:13,660 --> 00:35:17,340
I've always seen myself as more of an
East Coast Hufflepuff.

564
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:21,760
I've made a critical error on my Airbnb
reservation.

565
00:35:22,140 --> 00:35:25,580
This is not what the website looked like
at all.

566
00:35:27,420 --> 00:35:32,040
I love the decor, though. I had no idea
hopeless was a color. Hard left,

567
00:35:32,140 --> 00:35:33,140
douchebag.

568
00:35:37,070 --> 00:35:38,110
Please, after you.

569
00:35:40,230 --> 00:35:42,510
Another disgusting minority off the
streets.

570
00:35:43,030 --> 00:35:45,110
We'll sleep well tonight. Let's get a
bagel.

571
00:35:48,790 --> 00:35:50,430
Nighty night, you annoying prick.

572
00:36:22,860 --> 00:36:25,140
But I'm going to tell you what the big
lie is.

573
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:27,400
Toilet paper.

574
00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:30,560
Toilet paper is a plenty fine appetizer.

575
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:34,960
But then, Huggies Natural Care Wet
Wipes.

576
00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:36,700
That's your main course.

577
00:36:36,980 --> 00:36:38,280
They're soft. They're moist.

578
00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:39,880
They're for babies.

579
00:36:41,060 --> 00:36:45,100
Finally, one more pass with toilet
paper. Maybe clear out that excess

580
00:36:45,100 --> 00:36:48,620
moisture. Maybe treat yourself to a blow
and go if you can get you a hair dryer.

581
00:36:48,780 --> 00:36:50,580
Just about 30 seconds will do you good.

582
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:00,120
What?

583
00:37:01,260 --> 00:37:02,360
What year is it?

584
00:37:02,900 --> 00:37:05,280
What kind of dummy question is that to
ask?

585
00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:06,560
You're a

586
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:24,060
long

587
00:37:24,060 --> 00:37:26,120
way from your superpowers.

588
00:37:26,740 --> 00:37:27,740
Yeah.

589
00:37:32,650 --> 00:37:33,950
I wanted to be a superhero.

590
00:37:34,810 --> 00:37:36,570
Always wanted a real super suit.

591
00:37:37,150 --> 00:37:38,150
What happened?

592
00:37:38,390 --> 00:37:40,510
When was the last time you saw a
plus-size superhero?

593
00:37:41,350 --> 00:37:42,350
Never.

594
00:37:42,630 --> 00:37:44,370
The industry discriminates.

595
00:37:45,230 --> 00:37:46,370
Forget superheroes.

596
00:37:46,790 --> 00:37:51,070
The first thing I want to do when I get
out of here, burn that headmaster alive,

597
00:37:51,430 --> 00:37:54,350
and then take a savvy with a smoldering
corpse.

598
00:37:54,750 --> 00:37:56,430
Who says prison isn't reformative?

599
00:37:56,790 --> 00:37:57,810
What did he do to you?

600
00:37:58,070 --> 00:37:59,290
He thinks we're evil.

601
00:38:00,110 --> 00:38:01,630
I said I'm a wicked...

602
00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:05,080
Your abilities.

603
00:38:06,700 --> 00:38:08,720
I know how seductive they are.

604
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:17,000
Tomorrow,

605
00:38:18,860 --> 00:38:20,860
we'll find the biggest guy in here.

606
00:38:22,540 --> 00:38:27,800
And we'll make him out, but... What was
that?

607
00:38:28,540 --> 00:38:30,700
That is the biggest guy in here.

608
00:38:31,260 --> 00:38:32,880
Fun fact about the icebox.

609
00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:38,620
Though no one's ever seen it, they keep
a monster in the basement, right next to

610
00:38:38,620 --> 00:38:40,960
a huge steaming bowl of foreshadowing.

611
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:48,380
Look, I can't protect you with this
collar on. My superpower is just

612
00:38:48,380 --> 00:38:49,640
unbridled cancer.

613
00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:53,020
Give me a bow and arrow, I'm basically
Hawkeye.

614
00:38:53,660 --> 00:38:57,380
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got
tumors to grow.

615
00:38:57,900 --> 00:38:58,900
Vanessa awaits.

616
00:38:59,260 --> 00:39:00,780
I'll start by making us a shank.

617
00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:02,520
Good listening.

618
00:39:02,940 --> 00:39:06,540
i saw that god's pen and stashed in the
old prison wallet if you know what i'm

619
00:39:06,540 --> 00:39:12,600
saying prison wallet i really hope i
don't know what you're saying

620
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:19,600
and to update you

621
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:23,980
on the story reported earlier after a
lengthy standoff outside the essex house

622
00:39:23,980 --> 00:39:28,840
for mutant rehabilitation two mutants
were arrested and transported entering

623
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:30,320
repair mode

624
00:39:59,540 --> 00:40:00,660
Don't do that.

625
00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:04,130
What? Why are you winking at me?

626
00:40:06,890 --> 00:40:07,990
I got your back.

627
00:40:08,430 --> 00:40:09,430
Oh, my God.

628
00:40:09,590 --> 00:40:11,050
You're sick. I gotta protect you.

629
00:40:11,290 --> 00:40:12,430
Just leave me alone, kid.

630
00:40:14,290 --> 00:40:15,290
Oh, great.

631
00:40:17,030 --> 00:40:19,090
Well, hello there, new fish.

632
00:40:19,570 --> 00:40:22,270
It's nice to see some fresh faces around
here.

633
00:40:23,010 --> 00:40:26,790
I've done some light catalog work, but
really, modeling is just a stepping

634
00:40:26,790 --> 00:40:27,790
stone to acting.

635
00:40:27,830 --> 00:40:29,350
I'm stopping to act. Oh.

636
00:40:30,370 --> 00:40:31,370
We met?

637
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:32,880
Can't place your mustache.

638
00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:34,840
Black Tom Cass.

639
00:40:35,060 --> 00:40:36,060
White Wade Wilson.

640
00:40:36,420 --> 00:40:37,420
What's your superpower?

641
00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:39,200
Cultural appropriation?

642
00:40:39,980 --> 00:40:42,380
You're supposed to be the toughest con
in here.

643
00:40:42,660 --> 00:40:44,260
You don't look like much to me.

644
00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:46,400
First rule of the yard.

645
00:40:46,620 --> 00:40:53,400
Find the biggest guy and make him
your... Second biggest

646
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:54,400
guy.

647
00:40:54,700 --> 00:40:58,520
Last thing I need is more hepatitis. Oh,
it's slippery, too.

648
00:40:58,740 --> 00:41:00,360
This table needs a wipe down.

649
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:02,200
You get a wipe down on the table?

650
00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:05,800
Kid, I think you picked the wrong side.

651
00:41:06,020 --> 00:41:07,020
No, I didn't.

652
00:41:07,180 --> 00:41:08,180
He's my friend.

653
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:10,240
Zip it. We're not friends.

654
00:41:11,140 --> 00:41:12,500
Take a seat, shit dick.

655
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:18,540
I had

656
00:41:18,540 --> 00:41:25,380
so

657
00:41:25,380 --> 00:41:28,880
much fun. You were like, and I was like,
let's take a seat, shit dick. Just let

658
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:29,880
me die in peace.

659
00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:32,400
a great team.

660
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:33,800
We're not a team.

661
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:36,320
Why'd you say that back there?

662
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:37,800
We're friends.

663
00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:41,040
Partners. We're not partners. We're
friends.

664
00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:47,340
This doesn't end with us riding into the
sunset. It ends with me dying of cancer

665
00:41:47,340 --> 00:41:50,700
and you winning the icebox award for
most pinchable cheeks.

666
00:41:52,900 --> 00:41:55,840
There's only one person in this world
that I care about and she's gone.

667
00:41:57,960 --> 00:41:59,640
You know, you want to survive?

668
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:03,600
Stop trying to shake the biggest guys in
here.

669
00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:05,980
And make friends with them.

670
00:42:07,860 --> 00:42:09,220
Make friends with someone.

671
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:11,840
Anyone but me.

672
00:42:13,300 --> 00:42:15,140
Maybe even Black Tim.

673
00:42:15,660 --> 00:42:19,120
Black Evan. I don't know. All I remember
is he was African American.

674
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:40,900
Everybody radio in at this moment.

675
00:42:49,540 --> 00:42:54,580
System malfunctioning. Cell 7, 12, 14,
17.

676
00:42:54,900 --> 00:42:59,800
Get in there! 1, 3, 7, 8.

677
00:43:02,060 --> 00:43:03,060
Searching.

678
00:43:03,660 --> 00:43:06,260
Cell 0, 4, located.

679
00:43:20,009 --> 00:43:21,470
That was our cell.

680
00:43:22,670 --> 00:43:26,210
What did I do to piss off a grumpy old
guy with a winter soldier arm?

681
00:43:33,750 --> 00:43:35,470
Get away from me, kid.

682
00:43:37,430 --> 00:43:38,430
Listen.

683
00:43:43,530 --> 00:43:44,530
Russell.

684
00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:45,880
Hello, superpowers.

685
00:44:52,720 --> 00:44:53,520
Who are

686
00:44:53,520 --> 00:44:59,760
you?

687
00:45:20,270 --> 00:45:21,270
It's got some zip.

688
00:45:28,570 --> 00:45:29,570
Don't feel bad.

689
00:45:29,870 --> 00:45:31,190
Even I can't show me.

690
00:45:32,250 --> 00:45:36,530
Talk! What kind of spineless shitstick
tries to kill a 14-year-old boy?

691
00:45:37,610 --> 00:45:40,650
You might want to start talking, because
I've got a long history of firing at

692
00:45:40,650 --> 00:45:41,650
times like this.

693
00:45:42,230 --> 00:45:43,430
My name's Cable.

694
00:45:44,210 --> 00:45:45,430
I'm from the future.

695
00:45:45,850 --> 00:45:46,850
Just walk away.

696
00:45:47,650 --> 00:45:48,650
Oh!

697
00:45:49,070 --> 00:45:50,210
So you're from the future.

698
00:45:50,870 --> 00:45:52,170
I have a question then.

699
00:45:53,070 --> 00:45:54,650
Is dubstep still a thing?

700
00:46:21,300 --> 00:46:24,880
you're so dark these are you know from
the dc universe

701
00:46:51,660 --> 00:46:52,740
Is that a fanny pack?

702
00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:55,320
I used to have one of those in 1990.
Never.

703
00:46:56,780 --> 00:46:58,220
Something to remember you by.

704
00:46:58,760 --> 00:46:59,980
Give me that back.

705
00:47:00,700 --> 00:47:02,180
It goes with me everywhere.

706
00:47:02,540 --> 00:47:04,260
Like a memory or fanny pack.

707
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:15,420
Why are you protecting the kid?

708
00:47:15,940 --> 00:47:18,480
He's just some kid with an R.U. my
mother complex.

709
00:47:18,720 --> 00:47:20,100
I don't give a damn about him.

710
00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:26,480
What's this one do?

711
00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:40,980
In every film, there's a moment when the
hero hits rock bottom.

712
00:47:41,540 --> 00:47:44,880
In Cool Runnings, it was when John
Candy's prize bobsled broke.

713
00:47:45,240 --> 00:47:49,600
In Human Centipede, it was when those
people signed on to be in that movie.

714
00:47:50,560 --> 00:47:54,120
But in this film, well, you're looking
at it.

715
00:47:58,980 --> 00:47:59,980
Meet Bottom.

716
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:05,320
Ness?

717
00:48:14,420 --> 00:48:15,560
Hey, Ness!

718
00:48:17,140 --> 00:48:18,740
Ness, can you let me in, please?

719
00:48:20,100 --> 00:48:21,100
Please.

720
00:48:27,020 --> 00:48:29,760
You're not giving me a lot of direction
here. I'm at the end of my rope.

721
00:48:33,120 --> 00:48:34,380
Then I joined the X-Men.

722
00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:36,640
Went to prison.

723
00:48:36,780 --> 00:48:41,880
The kid.

724
00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:47,340
Kids give us a chance to be better than
we used to be.

725
00:48:48,860 --> 00:48:49,860
The kid.

726
00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:07,140
That's exactly what she meant. Your
heart needs to be in the right place.

727
00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:08,400
I'm not gonna abandon this kid.

728
00:49:08,840 --> 00:49:10,400
He's never had anyone, ever.

729
00:49:11,540 --> 00:49:12,700
I need to be selfless.

730
00:49:13,100 --> 00:49:14,400
Yeah, but what does that mean?

731
00:49:14,780 --> 00:49:17,680
It means... I'm gonna save Russell.

732
00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:22,260
Maybe I couldn't save Vanessa, but maybe
I can save a robust teenager from New

733
00:49:22,260 --> 00:49:25,800
Zealand. Yeah, but what I mean is, like,
that word, selfless, I literally don't

734
00:49:25,800 --> 00:49:26,698
know what that means.

735
00:49:26,700 --> 00:49:27,678
Jesus Christ.

736
00:49:27,680 --> 00:49:32,560
Okay. Look, according to my guy... Okay,
those muties are being transferred to a

737
00:49:32,560 --> 00:49:36,720
supermax 80 miles away. Great, I'll pick
them off along the way. Hold your

738
00:49:36,720 --> 00:49:41,160
testicles there, buddy, okay? We're
talking about an armored convoy and a

739
00:49:41,160 --> 00:49:45,000
vicious super soldier from the future
who's dead set on turning your skull

740
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:46,380
into an ashtray. You know what we need
to do?

741
00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:49,260
We need to build a team. We need them
tough.

742
00:49:49,710 --> 00:49:53,230
morally flexible, and young enough to
carry this franchise 10 to 12 years. We

743
00:49:53,230 --> 00:49:57,590
need Ocean's 14 stuff. The mother of all
teens. John Wick 3. Cheap. With the

744
00:49:57,590 --> 00:49:59,990
original director. My body is an
instrument of death.

745
00:50:00,330 --> 00:50:01,249
Not now, Dopinder.

746
00:50:01,250 --> 00:50:02,470
I could be of great use.

747
00:50:03,370 --> 00:50:04,370
What's your superpower?

748
00:50:06,870 --> 00:50:07,890
Courage. That's adorable.

749
00:50:08,330 --> 00:50:11,470
All right, I'll put out a call for
resumes, but we're not paying medical or

750
00:50:11,470 --> 00:50:12,448
dental.

751
00:50:12,450 --> 00:50:13,870
It's time to get back on LinkedIn.

752
00:50:39,790 --> 00:50:40,830
Attention all inmates.

753
00:50:41,150 --> 00:50:42,790
Transport to Crosford.

754
00:50:43,050 --> 00:50:47,510
Maximum security maintenance containment
facility will begin in 0800 hours.

755
00:50:47,710 --> 00:50:51,110
Inspection of your cells and
out-processing will begin in 0600.

756
00:50:54,530 --> 00:50:56,010
Attention all inmates.

757
00:50:56,410 --> 00:50:58,130
Transport to Crosford.

758
00:50:58,370 --> 00:51:04,370
Maximum security maintenance containment
facility will begin in 0800 hours.

759
00:51:27,470 --> 00:51:28,470
I know you're in there.

760
00:51:39,930 --> 00:51:41,790
Must be hard being the biggest guy in
here.

761
00:51:43,710 --> 00:51:44,710
Lonely at the top, eh?

762
00:51:45,790 --> 00:51:46,950
They're moving us tomorrow.

763
00:51:50,250 --> 00:51:51,830
Maybe I can get you out of here.

764
00:51:53,290 --> 00:51:55,990
We can make the whole world our bitch.

765
00:51:58,440 --> 00:51:59,740
We need a secret code.

766
00:52:02,140 --> 00:52:04,500
I can't know that. Stupid Russell.

767
00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:05,800
Idiot.

768
00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:13,960
We're a team.

769
00:52:14,420 --> 00:52:16,320
We're like thugs. We're like gangsters.

770
00:52:16,600 --> 00:52:18,720
I'm like Tug Park and you're like Ice
Cube.

771
00:52:19,940 --> 00:52:21,420
I suppose he should rap.

772
00:52:23,620 --> 00:52:24,960
Terrific. You're all terrific.

773
00:52:25,380 --> 00:52:27,700
Meet Bedlam. Cool name.

774
00:52:28,420 --> 00:52:33,560
Superpowers? I can distort electrical
fields, including the one inside your

775
00:52:33,560 --> 00:52:37,580
brain, causing anxiety, confusion, pain.

776
00:52:38,940 --> 00:52:42,240
So basically, you're Dave Matthews. We
can use him.

777
00:52:44,020 --> 00:52:45,160
I'm a zeitgeist.

778
00:52:45,560 --> 00:52:50,840
Cool. I like to say you have the power
to put your finger on the pulse of

779
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:52,520
society. No.

780
00:52:52,920 --> 00:52:54,660
No, I spit acidic vomit.

781
00:52:54,960 --> 00:52:57,830
Oh. Do you want me to demonstrate? No,
thank you.

782
00:52:58,290 --> 00:53:00,450
Listen, we've all eaten at Arby's. Okay.

783
00:53:01,110 --> 00:53:02,970
This is the Vanisher.

784
00:53:07,110 --> 00:53:10,070
But... Vanisher!

785
00:53:12,110 --> 00:53:13,110
Nice!

786
00:53:14,070 --> 00:53:15,070
Right?

787
00:53:16,030 --> 00:53:18,290
He's not here, is he? He may be running
late.

788
00:53:20,350 --> 00:53:22,770
My name's Rusty, but I go by
Shatterstar.

789
00:53:23,150 --> 00:53:24,109
That's good.

790
00:53:24,110 --> 00:53:26,250
Yeah, Rusty is... Tuffy. Terrible.

791
00:53:26,650 --> 00:53:29,290
So, where are you from? The planet Mojo
World.

792
00:53:29,510 --> 00:53:34,510
So, you're an alien, I guess. How does
that help us? I'm basically better than

793
00:53:34,510 --> 00:53:35,630
you at everything.

794
00:53:36,330 --> 00:53:39,330
Just once, I'm going to find a planet of
people that are worse than me at

795
00:53:39,330 --> 00:53:41,410
everything. A whole bunch of functional
idiots.

796
00:53:41,790 --> 00:53:43,590
I'm going to go there and I'm going to
be their Superman.

797
00:53:44,110 --> 00:53:47,250
Isn't that Canada? You shut your goddamn
trash mouth.

798
00:53:48,730 --> 00:53:50,830
Meet... Domino. What's your shtick?

799
00:53:51,210 --> 00:53:52,210
I'm lucky.

800
00:53:52,470 --> 00:53:53,470
That's not a superpower.

801
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:57,200
Yeah, it is. No, it isn't. Yes, it is.
No, it isn't. Yeah, it is. No, it isn't.

802
00:53:57,220 --> 00:54:00,500
Yes, it is. No, it isn't. Yeah, it is.
Really isn't. No, it isn't. Yes, it is.

803
00:54:00,660 --> 00:54:01,660
Told you.

804
00:54:01,740 --> 00:54:02,740
Get out of my head!

805
00:54:03,440 --> 00:54:06,100
I'm not in your head. Looks like I'm in
an 11-year-old's bedroom.

806
00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:08,800
If you're so lucky, then what are you
doing here with us? Oh, well, I don't

807
00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:09,339
know yet.

808
00:54:09,340 --> 00:54:12,100
What's that supposed to mean? There's a
reason why I'm here, and I'll know when

809
00:54:12,100 --> 00:54:14,960
I know. Everything usually just kind of
works out for me. You're hired. You're

810
00:54:14,960 --> 00:54:16,480
hired. Oh, lucky me.

811
00:54:17,180 --> 00:54:18,180
She's great.

812
00:54:18,860 --> 00:54:21,080
And last but not least, Peter.

813
00:54:23,240 --> 00:54:24,640
Are you getting catfished here?

814
00:54:25,500 --> 00:54:27,500
Any powers you want to tell us about?

815
00:54:27,940 --> 00:54:30,300
No, I don't have one.

816
00:54:30,620 --> 00:54:33,580
I just saw the ad. No superpowers at
all?

817
00:54:34,040 --> 00:54:37,280
I have both type 1 and 2 diabetes.

818
00:54:37,800 --> 00:54:42,640
Ow! Oh, that's all the diabetes. Right,
yeah, you got them all. If you find a

819
00:54:42,640 --> 00:54:43,640
type 3, let us know.

820
00:54:44,260 --> 00:54:46,180
Yeah, you're in.

821
00:54:50,220 --> 00:54:51,380
It's fulfilling work.

822
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:05,960
This is convoy 17, departing the icebox.
We're en route.

823
00:55:13,980 --> 00:55:16,060
Peace time makes people soft.

824
00:55:17,860 --> 00:55:19,640
I was born into war.

825
00:55:21,400 --> 00:55:22,620
Bred into it.

826
00:55:23,700 --> 00:55:24,700
Okay.

827
00:55:25,500 --> 00:55:27,780
What's the most pain you've ever felt?

828
00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:31,760
These restraints are pretty. You got a
list.

829
00:55:33,680 --> 00:55:34,920
We're gonna work down it.

830
00:55:36,460 --> 00:55:37,460
Together.

831
00:55:38,500 --> 00:55:40,280
Number one, I'm gonna bend something.

832
00:55:41,620 --> 00:55:43,820
Something that was not meant to bend.

833
00:55:44,120 --> 00:55:46,700
I'm gonna stop you right there, because
I'm not gonna make it to two. I won't

834
00:55:46,700 --> 00:55:50,340
even make it to one. I don't do well
with pain, you know. I stub my toe, I'm

835
00:55:50,340 --> 00:55:53,860
done for the day. I cried when they
canceled Felicity.

836
00:55:54,080 --> 00:55:58,160
I don't want you to hurt me, and I'll
tell you anything you want to know.

837
00:55:59,620 --> 00:56:00,920
Except for where they are.

838
00:56:01,670 --> 00:56:05,450
Russell's in a convoy heading southbound
on Jerry Duggan Parkway. The monster's

839
00:56:05,450 --> 00:56:06,530
with him. I wouldn't mess with him.

840
00:56:07,250 --> 00:56:11,550
Intercept the convoy. Grab the boy. But
not inappropriately. You know what? I

841
00:56:11,550 --> 00:56:12,930
wouldn't mess with Deadpool either.

842
00:56:13,130 --> 00:56:15,590
Because he's built a team. He's
unstoppable.

843
00:56:15,970 --> 00:56:20,770
He has an ass pen. He'll stab you with
it. Watch out for this guy, Cable.

844
00:56:21,070 --> 00:56:24,370
He's very short. 5'11". Not like in the
comics.

845
00:56:24,590 --> 00:56:29,410
And if we succeed, we all go home early.
So you go after them, Cable. I warn you.

846
00:56:30,750 --> 00:56:32,150
There's a wind advisory in effect

847
00:56:32,150 --> 00:56:41,170
I

848
00:56:41,170 --> 00:56:53,010
don't

849
00:56:53,010 --> 00:56:56,050
know much about this cable fella, but I
guarantee he hasn't killed as many

850
00:56:56,050 --> 00:56:57,190
people as melanoma has

851
00:56:59,210 --> 00:57:02,690
We're getting close. As a former
X-Man... Trainee.

852
00:57:02,970 --> 00:57:07,890
Thank you, Bedlam. I was always appalled
by the blatant sexism in the group's

853
00:57:07,890 --> 00:57:08,890
name. X-Men?

854
00:57:08,970 --> 00:57:12,710
Men? The point is, our group will be
forward-thinking.

855
00:57:13,190 --> 00:57:20,150
Gender neutral. From now on, we'll be
known as... X-Force.

856
00:57:28,270 --> 00:57:32,110
at 1,300 feet, intercept the convoy, and
grab the boy. Let's bring on the

857
00:57:32,110 --> 00:57:32,948
carnage, baby.

858
00:57:32,950 --> 00:57:34,470
Get me on the ground, watch me go.

859
00:57:34,770 --> 00:57:35,770
Yeah!

860
00:57:36,010 --> 00:57:37,110
I can't wait to kill.

861
00:57:37,390 --> 00:57:42,430
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I just, I just
want to say how proud I am of this team.

862
00:57:42,730 --> 00:57:45,270
You know, you guys look amazing.

863
00:57:46,050 --> 00:57:48,210
Vanisher, I have no doubt you look
amazing, too.

864
00:57:48,450 --> 00:57:53,530
And this is a family that I've always
dreamed of having, and I, darn, I just,

865
00:57:53,650 --> 00:57:57,530
I just get a little chipped up
sometimes. I hate to interrupt.

866
00:57:58,060 --> 00:58:00,380
Is anybody nervous about the high winds?
Gary.

867
00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:01,558
My name's Peter.

868
00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:03,360
I realize that you're new to this, but
relax.

869
00:58:03,580 --> 00:58:04,940
You've been chosen by a higher power.

870
00:58:05,240 --> 00:58:07,140
Did he just call himself God? I think he
did.

871
00:58:07,360 --> 00:58:10,880
I'd like to go home. I spent ten years
at Special Forces. You think we didn't

872
00:58:10,880 --> 00:58:12,820
jump out of the plane because of a light
breeze?

873
00:58:13,480 --> 00:58:15,080
You're in the shit now, mustache!

874
00:58:15,860 --> 00:58:19,080
I'm only yelling to impress the other
guys. I've never let anything happen to

875
00:58:19,080 --> 00:58:20,080
you, sugar bear.

876
00:59:35,020 --> 00:59:36,940
Look at these gorgeous sons of bitches.

877
00:59:38,040 --> 00:59:40,000
Oh, yeah. That's right, Medlum.

878
00:59:42,920 --> 00:59:43,920
No!

879
00:59:46,140 --> 00:59:47,480
Dripping billies!

880
00:59:48,520 --> 00:59:51,440
Shatterstar. Okay, you got this.

881
00:59:53,580 --> 00:59:54,580
Left!

882
00:59:54,960 --> 00:59:57,720
Left! No, stage left, you idiot!

883
00:59:58,980 --> 00:59:59,980
Well,

884
01:00:00,740 --> 01:00:02,700
I guess we found something you're not
better at.

885
01:00:05,720 --> 01:00:08,340
Vanisher. Maybe the wind can't blow, but
it can't see.

886
01:00:09,820 --> 01:00:10,820
Really?

887
01:00:11,480 --> 01:00:14,560
Wait, wait, wait. Was that Benjamin
Button?

888
01:00:14,900 --> 01:00:15,900
Brad Pitt?

889
01:00:16,900 --> 01:00:18,220
How'd you get Brad Pitt?

890
01:00:18,500 --> 01:00:21,880
You're here, aren't you? Yeah, but I
didn't agree to... Oh.

891
01:00:23,760 --> 01:00:28,140
See, Brad, he's still locked in my storm
cellar along with Celine Dion and Matt

892
01:00:28,140 --> 01:00:30,940
Damon. It's like Shawshank down there.

893
01:00:32,420 --> 01:00:34,140
Matt Damon's in this shit? Yeah.

894
01:00:35,720 --> 01:00:39,180
It's just you go down there first thing
and just punch him as hard as you can.

895
01:00:39,240 --> 01:00:41,700
You want to establish dominance or that
guy will own you.

896
01:00:42,060 --> 01:00:43,560
And quit burning our S-words.

897
01:00:45,080 --> 01:00:46,280
Fools wanted to fight Matt Damon.

898
01:00:49,020 --> 01:00:50,020
Sorry, what did you say?

899
01:00:50,140 --> 01:00:53,000
What did I say? I thought you said Matt
Damon.

900
01:00:53,340 --> 01:00:54,800
I did. I want to f*** Damon.

901
01:00:55,040 --> 01:00:55,959
You want to what?

902
01:00:55,960 --> 01:00:57,760
I want to f*** him and I want him to
f*** me.

903
01:00:58,200 --> 01:01:00,960
And then if I'm doing a good job, I want
all my friends and family to come watch

904
01:01:00,960 --> 01:01:01,529
me f***.

905
01:01:01,530 --> 01:01:04,870
Tell me more about that. Well, I feel
like if we each other, you know, in

906
01:01:04,870 --> 01:01:08,250
private, kind of work out our moves,
then we kind of sell some tickets, and

907
01:01:08,250 --> 01:01:12,070
we get an arena, you know? And then we
each other in the arena. We get outfits,

908
01:01:12,310 --> 01:01:13,310
you know, like, cool outfits.

909
01:01:13,410 --> 01:01:16,610
And we each other, and everyone's
cheering and betting on who's gonna each

910
01:01:16,610 --> 01:01:17,610
other the hardest.

911
01:01:17,670 --> 01:01:20,010
And then, when it's all done, there's
gonna be a champion.

912
01:01:20,670 --> 01:01:23,750
And it'll be like, I think I'll win,
because I'm, like, a really strong...

913
01:01:23,750 --> 01:01:26,770
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they'll be
like, wait, no, lay off Matt Damon.

914
01:01:26,890 --> 01:01:28,210
You've him too hard.

915
01:01:28,490 --> 01:01:31,980
And I'm gonna say, no, I got a little
more... left in me and then i'm gonna

916
01:01:31,980 --> 01:01:36,040
come in i'm gonna come in i'm gonna why
are you buzzing that because i feel like

917
01:01:36,040 --> 01:01:38,600
you're making it sound like i'm saying
something i'm not saying what are you

918
01:01:38,600 --> 01:01:43,080
saying i'm saying i want to fight matt
damon oh you should have said so i

919
01:01:43,080 --> 01:01:48,460
thought you were saying matt damon no
that's crazy crazy why did he ask about

920
01:01:48,460 --> 01:01:54,720
me no okay all right we could do this
with four sugar bear

921
01:01:54,720 --> 01:01:58,980
you got this buddy that's the stuff
that's the x4 spirit

922
01:01:59,870 --> 01:02:01,710
Never underestimate a man with a
mustache.

923
01:02:02,070 --> 01:02:03,630
Just ask anyone in Brooklyn.

924
01:02:04,610 --> 01:02:06,610
You're a goddamn superhero, you.

925
01:02:06,830 --> 01:02:07,830
X-Force!

926
01:02:08,270 --> 01:02:09,270
X-Force.

927
01:02:10,070 --> 01:02:11,070
Woo-hoo!

928
01:02:11,370 --> 01:02:12,370
Yes!

929
01:02:13,110 --> 01:02:14,110
Oh!

930
01:02:17,290 --> 01:02:18,290
Thunder!

931
01:02:19,390 --> 01:02:20,990
Peter. I got you, buddy.

932
01:02:21,330 --> 01:02:23,270
You're gonna be fine. You got this, big
guy.

933
01:02:23,490 --> 01:02:24,490
Here we go, Peter.

934
01:02:24,610 --> 01:02:26,390
Look at me. We're X-Force, right?

935
01:02:26,830 --> 01:02:28,550
We're X-Force. We're X-Force.

936
01:02:31,630 --> 01:02:32,710
Oh, my God!

937
01:02:32,930 --> 01:02:33,930
What the?

938
01:02:34,190 --> 01:02:35,190
Acidic vomit!

939
01:02:35,770 --> 01:02:36,930
Oh, God.

940
01:02:37,310 --> 01:02:38,870
You're gonna throw up in my mask.

941
01:02:40,750 --> 01:02:43,010
Okay, I'm over the convoy.

942
01:02:43,230 --> 01:02:44,830
Where did the rest of the team land?

943
01:02:45,770 --> 01:02:47,250
Good news and bad news.

944
01:02:47,490 --> 01:02:50,290
Bad news is the whole team is dead.

945
01:02:50,690 --> 01:02:54,850
The good news is I don't think anyone's
gonna miss Shatterstar. He was a bit of

946
01:02:54,850 --> 01:02:55,569
a prick.

947
01:02:55,570 --> 01:02:56,950
Oh, but Paul!

948
01:02:57,410 --> 01:02:58,590
Peter! Peter!

949
01:02:58,970 --> 01:03:00,850
I miss him most. The whole team?

950
01:03:01,150 --> 01:03:02,630
Only the main ones. We're stupid.

951
01:03:02,890 --> 01:03:03,950
You are so dumb.

952
01:03:04,170 --> 01:03:08,030
Even after all this time, I still can't
talk about it. Who knew these winds

953
01:03:08,030 --> 01:03:09,030
would be so strong?

954
01:03:09,270 --> 01:03:11,030
Everyone. Everyone on the helicopter.

955
01:03:11,350 --> 01:03:12,910
And everyone not on the helicopter.

956
01:03:15,510 --> 01:03:16,710
Looking good, Vanisher.

957
01:03:25,850 --> 01:03:27,410
They're headed into the tunnel.

958
01:03:28,140 --> 01:03:32,680
I'm that kid's only hope, so sit tight,
wait for my word. I'm dropping in.

959
01:03:32,880 --> 01:03:36,520
That's a negative, Soul Survivor. Luck
is not a superpower.

960
01:03:36,860 --> 01:03:38,280
We are so screwed.

961
01:03:38,640 --> 01:03:41,020
No, we will certainly not screw.

962
01:03:45,240 --> 01:03:50,220
Seriously, I don't get it. What, you
shoot luck lasers out of your eyes?

963
01:03:51,500 --> 01:03:55,120
It's just, it's hard to picture. And
certainly not very cinematic.

964
01:03:57,200 --> 01:03:58,200
I mean, luck?

965
01:03:58,300 --> 01:04:02,800
What kind of cat feet, tongue, and diet
soda-swilling trick show comic book

966
01:04:02,800 --> 01:04:06,560
artist came up with that little
chestnut? Probably a guy who can't draw

967
01:04:06,560 --> 01:04:07,560
feet.

968
01:04:14,180 --> 01:04:17,120
Once again, it all falls on my
shoulders.

969
01:04:17,360 --> 01:04:20,780
It's why I'm cursed to be a solo act.
Wander the earth... I'm in. I'm sorry,

970
01:04:20,880 --> 01:04:21,658
what did you say?

971
01:04:21,660 --> 01:04:25,920
I'm in. How in the name of Satan are you
in already? Oh, shit.

972
01:04:26,800 --> 01:04:27,960
It's Cable, 12 o'clock.

973
01:04:28,220 --> 01:04:29,660
Okay, new plan!

974
01:04:29,980 --> 01:04:33,760
Use all of your imaginary powers to stop
Cable from killing that kid!

975
01:04:34,040 --> 01:04:35,400
I'm coming up on your six!

976
01:05:49,960 --> 01:05:50,960
Okay, let's take the wheel.

977
01:06:06,260 --> 01:06:06,660
Eat

978
01:06:06,660 --> 01:06:14,100
me,

979
01:06:14,160 --> 01:06:15,158
mutant!

980
01:06:15,160 --> 01:06:16,160
Ouchie!

981
01:06:51,829 --> 01:06:56,670
Get me back my skee-ball token.

982
01:06:59,490 --> 01:07:05,310
I guess dubstep never dies.

983
01:07:17,930 --> 01:07:19,690
Tom, you racist son of a bitch!

984
01:07:22,110 --> 01:07:23,110
That's unfortunate.

985
01:07:26,310 --> 01:07:27,450
We got no brakes!

986
01:07:27,870 --> 01:07:28,930
Figure it out!

987
01:07:32,230 --> 01:07:33,830
There's nothing I can't kill.

988
01:07:35,690 --> 01:07:38,150
Ooh, somebody knows.

989
01:07:38,890 --> 01:07:40,010
Could I take?

990
01:07:41,270 --> 01:07:44,810
Hey, give me your best shot, one-eyed
Willy.

991
01:07:56,930 --> 01:07:58,570
Those bullets are like super fast.

992
01:07:58,810 --> 01:07:59,810
Here we go

993
01:08:37,609 --> 01:08:38,609
That's my boy.

994
01:08:55,990 --> 01:08:59,729
I'll be first to admit, this did not go
according to plan.

995
01:09:01,310 --> 01:09:04,370
I'll also be the first to admit that
that plan was written in crayon.

996
01:09:05,210 --> 01:09:06,850
Looks like Russell found a new friend.

997
01:09:07,790 --> 01:09:12,250
Turns out Domino's a bit of a badass and
maybe possibly mildly lucky.

998
01:09:12,670 --> 01:09:18,710
But Cable, that guy's in a mood. A mood
that is about to get significantly

999
01:09:18,710 --> 01:09:19,710
worse.

1000
01:09:42,859 --> 01:09:44,979
Something is so terribly, terribly
wrong.

1001
01:09:47,859 --> 01:09:48,859
Ow.

1002
01:09:49,979 --> 01:09:52,740
Oh, man, that hurts.

1003
01:09:58,100 --> 01:09:59,100
Russell?

1004
01:10:01,880 --> 01:10:02,880
Russell?

1005
01:10:04,600 --> 01:10:05,780
Where are you?

1006
01:10:09,120 --> 01:10:11,560
Russell? Russell, you're okay.

1007
01:10:12,080 --> 01:10:14,760
Oh, thank God. Oh, my God!

1008
01:10:15,820 --> 01:10:16,820
Juggernaut!

1009
01:10:17,280 --> 01:10:19,440
I thought that was you.

1010
01:10:19,780 --> 01:10:21,640
I should have worn my white pants.

1011
01:10:22,500 --> 01:10:26,160
You probably get this a lot, but I am a
huge fan.

1012
01:10:26,840 --> 01:10:31,880
Uncanny X-Men, one of these three, Thor
411, X-Men Unlimited 12. You know, it

1013
01:10:31,880 --> 01:10:35,780
has always been a dream of mine to see
my face reflected in your helmet as you

1014
01:10:35,780 --> 01:10:37,400
charge at me with murderous intent.

1015
01:10:37,640 --> 01:10:38,860
I don't mean right now.

1016
01:10:39,460 --> 01:10:41,300
I'm gonna rip you in half now.

1017
01:10:41,680 --> 01:10:44,100
That is such a juggernaut thing to say.

1018
01:10:44,340 --> 01:10:48,220
Oh my god!

1019
01:10:51,880 --> 01:10:57,460
Oh my

1020
01:10:57,460 --> 01:11:02,780
god, I can't feel my legs!

1021
01:11:03,100 --> 01:11:04,500
I can't, I can't feel!

1022
01:11:05,240 --> 01:11:06,600
Oh no, they're right here.

1023
01:11:07,400 --> 01:11:08,398
Got them.

1024
01:11:08,400 --> 01:11:10,160
Wrestle. I have a mission.

1025
01:11:11,600 --> 01:11:12,620
To get my revenge.

1026
01:11:13,320 --> 01:11:15,480
I'm going to burn that headmaster alive.

1027
01:11:15,840 --> 01:11:16,920
You're not the revenge type.

1028
01:11:17,880 --> 01:11:19,000
Take it from a friend.

1029
01:11:19,840 --> 01:11:21,820
Friend? You said it yourself.

1030
01:11:23,060 --> 01:11:24,180
I'm not your friend.

1031
01:11:24,580 --> 01:11:26,440
Find someone stronger. So I did.

1032
01:11:27,580 --> 01:11:28,580
Russell,

1033
01:11:28,840 --> 01:11:31,440
I couldn't protect you back then. But I
can now.

1034
01:11:31,940 --> 01:11:33,360
What do you want me to say, huh?

1035
01:11:33,840 --> 01:11:36,700
I care about you because I care about
you, Russell.

1036
01:11:37,920 --> 01:11:40,960
What's Juggernaut got that I don't have?
Don't you say legs.

1037
01:11:41,500 --> 01:11:42,840
I know you're going to say legs.

1038
01:11:43,600 --> 01:11:45,540
Legs. Still hurts to hear out loud.

1039
01:11:47,980 --> 01:11:48,938
What is that?

1040
01:11:48,940 --> 01:11:50,680
That's not a real rope.

1041
01:11:51,120 --> 01:11:52,620
You get back here, young man.

1042
01:11:54,640 --> 01:11:55,640
Dobbs.

1043
01:11:56,000 --> 01:11:57,300
Dobbs, get me out of here, please.

1044
01:11:57,980 --> 01:11:59,840
Use my arms as backpack straps.

1045
01:12:02,920 --> 01:12:05,800
I think we may have found your cosmic
reason for being here.

1046
01:12:06,600 --> 01:12:07,800
I'm pretty sure this isn't it.

1047
01:12:23,120 --> 01:12:24,620
No child is hopeless.

1048
01:12:24,900 --> 01:12:27,400
Don't give up on the boy. How could he
just walk away?

1049
01:12:28,300 --> 01:12:30,260
It was the coldness in his eyes.

1050
01:12:31,060 --> 01:12:32,380
He should have heard it.

1051
01:12:34,640 --> 01:12:36,680
His family really is an F word.

1052
01:12:38,040 --> 01:12:39,660
Rub my legs, Mama.

1053
01:12:40,140 --> 01:12:42,080
Why would I rub your legs? Please.

1054
01:12:42,320 --> 01:12:43,980
They hurt. I have growing pains.

1055
01:12:47,700 --> 01:12:51,600
Why is your hand so tiny again?

1056
01:12:52,270 --> 01:12:53,330
That's not my hand.

1057
01:12:53,770 --> 01:12:55,870
Oh, Mary Mother of Joseph!

1058
01:12:56,470 --> 01:12:57,650
That was nice for me.

1059
01:12:58,550 --> 01:13:03,350
Wait! I heard what happened with the
convoy. I... Why

1060
01:13:03,350 --> 01:13:07,050
wouldn't you cover that up?

1061
01:13:08,090 --> 01:13:10,070
A warrior has nothing to be ashamed of.

1062
01:13:10,750 --> 01:13:11,750
How about you do?

1063
01:13:12,170 --> 01:13:14,750
I mean, look at you. You're just
straight... Just full of Winnie the

1064
01:13:14,750 --> 01:13:15,750
Pooh.

1065
01:13:16,010 --> 01:13:17,170
Just toddler style?

1066
01:13:17,730 --> 01:13:18,730
Yes, sir.

1067
01:13:18,830 --> 01:13:20,150
Hold on, hold on, hold on.

1068
01:13:20,790 --> 01:13:24,620
If... The top half of Deadpool is
growing baby legs.

1069
01:13:25,400 --> 01:13:28,040
Does that mean the bottom half is
growing a baby head?

1070
01:13:28,680 --> 01:13:30,940
Well, I don't see why that matters. I
think it matters a lot.

1071
01:13:31,160 --> 01:13:34,200
I mean, if you want us to buy the
regeneration thing, you got to address

1072
01:13:34,200 --> 01:13:35,520
it. Are there two Deadpools now?

1073
01:13:35,760 --> 01:13:40,020
And if so, what's the other one doing?
And is he like you? Does he have the

1074
01:13:40,020 --> 01:13:43,960
same personality as you or the same
memories? And if he does, then is he

1075
01:13:43,960 --> 01:13:45,720
going to reenter the plot later? Because
he should.

1076
01:13:46,600 --> 01:13:49,980
You're really freaking me out right now.
And if that one got cut in half, then

1077
01:13:49,980 --> 01:13:52,760
it'd be three Deadpools. I mean, you
could see what all falls apart.

1078
01:13:52,980 --> 01:13:55,600
And quite frankly, why I prefer Marvel.
We are Marvel.

1079
01:13:57,160 --> 01:13:58,160
Hilarious. You're Fox.

1080
01:13:59,700 --> 01:14:03,600
Describe it. I wouldn't ask him to do
that. It's like... Here we go. It's like

1081
01:14:03,600 --> 01:14:07,320
he's a Muppet from the waist down, but
this time, you can see the Muppet's

1082
01:14:07,320 --> 01:14:10,320
twig. Grover's gonna suck. I've had
three tickets already.

1083
01:14:11,240 --> 01:14:12,240
No,

1084
01:14:12,880 --> 01:14:14,640
no, no. DP, not again.

1085
01:14:15,310 --> 01:14:16,310
Has this happened before?

1086
01:14:17,910 --> 01:14:21,170
Dobanir either vomit or don't. The
indecision is killing me. Why couldn't

1087
01:14:21,170 --> 01:14:22,230
God take my hearing?

1088
01:14:24,330 --> 01:14:25,870
Oh. Wow.

1089
01:14:26,230 --> 01:14:27,230
Cool your pits.

1090
01:14:27,290 --> 01:14:28,269
They're going back.

1091
01:14:28,270 --> 01:14:29,430
I'm talking about your face.

1092
01:14:30,150 --> 01:14:32,850
I've never seen you without your mask
before. Jesus Christ.

1093
01:14:33,210 --> 01:14:34,210
Looks like an avocado.

1094
01:14:34,410 --> 01:14:36,170
Your legs, though. They're cute.

1095
01:14:36,430 --> 01:14:37,570
You want to borrow a pair of pants?

1096
01:14:39,650 --> 01:14:43,530
I'm glad everybody dropped by. You must
be wondering why I didn't call you here.

1097
01:14:43,980 --> 01:14:45,100
I'll tell you why I'm here.

1098
01:14:45,760 --> 01:14:49,820
The time traveler's wife's husband beat
me within an inch of my life. He was

1099
01:14:49,820 --> 01:14:50,599
torturing me.

1100
01:14:50,600 --> 01:14:53,560
But all I told him was everything he
wanted to know.

1101
01:14:53,900 --> 01:14:58,500
So, I'm here to help us gear up so we
can go after him without me. No.

1102
01:14:59,140 --> 01:15:00,140
I'm doing this alone.

1103
01:15:00,360 --> 01:15:02,480
The Juggernaut will kill you all.

1104
01:15:02,680 --> 01:15:03,179
Fair enough.

1105
01:15:03,180 --> 01:15:06,300
I don't care what the kid did to me. I
ain't letting Cable get to him. I just

1106
01:15:06,300 --> 01:15:09,140
need a couple of hours to get some legs
under me. What will you do?

1107
01:15:09,520 --> 01:15:12,240
The first order of business is to get me
in front of Cable so I can pull all the

1108
01:15:12,240 --> 01:15:14,960
blood out of his body and fashion his
bones into holiday jewelry.

1109
01:15:15,340 --> 01:15:19,540
Then, I'm gonna take his skin and
stretch it out over a homemade mating

1110
01:15:19,540 --> 01:15:20,540
drum.

1111
01:15:21,660 --> 01:15:23,200
He's standing right behind you, isn't
he?

1112
01:15:31,960 --> 01:15:33,660
What in the ass?

1113
01:15:34,000 --> 01:15:35,660
Is this apartment listed on Tinder?

1114
01:15:36,160 --> 01:15:37,160
Grindr?

1115
01:15:37,320 --> 01:15:38,720
You're much taller in the comics.

1116
01:15:41,520 --> 01:15:42,700
Is that really necessary?

1117
01:15:47,460 --> 01:15:48,460
Why?

1118
01:15:48,740 --> 01:15:50,340
What can we help you with?

1119
01:15:51,100 --> 01:15:52,580
I'm here to proposition you.

1120
01:15:53,520 --> 01:15:54,680
Oh, boy.

1121
01:15:55,340 --> 01:15:59,100
He's really teeing it up, isn't he? Who
gets to make the first joke? I think we

1122
01:15:59,100 --> 01:16:00,240
should all do it at the same time.

1123
01:16:00,500 --> 01:16:03,940
Good call. For 45, he gets... I only do
over-the-pants mouth stuff.

1124
01:16:04,260 --> 01:16:06,520
God! Proposition has a wonderful Guy
Pearce performance.

1125
01:16:06,900 --> 01:16:08,320
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I want to
do mine over.

1126
01:16:08,740 --> 01:16:10,660
Give us the line again. I need your
help.

1127
01:16:11,560 --> 01:16:14,540
And trust me, I'm even less happy about
this than you are, but you'll unleash

1128
01:16:14,540 --> 01:16:15,539
the juggernaut.

1129
01:16:15,540 --> 01:16:16,980
I can't bring him down alone.

1130
01:16:18,040 --> 01:16:19,040
So here we are.

1131
01:16:20,680 --> 01:16:23,500
Well, we're no longer accepting
applications for X-Force, unfortunately.

1132
01:16:23,760 --> 01:16:26,520
We don't have a lot of time. Your
friend's about to make his first kill.

1133
01:16:26,640 --> 01:16:29,920
No offense, but if you know so much, why
not travel back to when he was a baby?

1134
01:16:29,980 --> 01:16:30,839
Kill him then.

1135
01:16:30,840 --> 01:16:34,900
He is a device to slide through time.
The longer I travel, the harder it is to

1136
01:16:34,900 --> 01:16:39,040
control. I got two charges, one to get
me here, one to get me home.

1137
01:16:39,660 --> 01:16:44,180
Well... That's just lazy writing. Oh,
yeah, I get it. I see what you did there

1138
01:16:44,180 --> 01:16:49,120
What jokes about lazy writing to cover
up actual lazy writing? Why don't you

1139
01:16:49,120 --> 01:16:51,860
just write better? Why don't you just
shut up?

1140
01:16:52,740 --> 01:16:57,300
Your boy's gonna kill the headmaster of
the orphanage tonight After that he gets

1141
01:16:57,300 --> 01:17:02,740
a real taste for it like a ten-year-old
Kirsten Dunst. So he keeps killing and

1142
01:17:02,740 --> 01:17:08,000
killing Until one day he kills the wrong
people

1143
01:17:16,679 --> 01:17:19,840
Relax. I'm retrieving something from my
utility bag.

1144
01:17:20,420 --> 01:17:24,940
It's a goddamn fanny pack, and you know
it, you sick son of a bitch.

1145
01:17:25,140 --> 01:17:26,620
The difference is night and day.

1146
01:17:28,860 --> 01:17:30,560
You remind me of my wife.

1147
01:17:31,780 --> 01:17:32,780
I'm sorry?

1148
01:17:33,020 --> 01:17:36,020
I said you remind me of my wife. No, I'm
sorry that you said that while making

1149
01:17:36,020 --> 01:17:37,920
heavy eye contact and applying lip balm.

1150
01:17:38,260 --> 01:17:39,380
She always struggled.

1151
01:17:40,540 --> 01:17:41,700
She was funny.

1152
01:17:42,400 --> 01:17:44,440
Filtered her pain through the prism of
humor.

1153
01:17:45,450 --> 01:17:47,030
Something I could never master.

1154
01:17:48,190 --> 01:17:49,910
It was my fault she died.

1155
01:17:52,150 --> 01:17:54,770
It was my job to stop people like him.

1156
01:17:55,970 --> 01:17:58,490
I came close a few times.

1157
01:17:58,850 --> 01:18:03,650
I wasn't too happy about that.

1158
01:18:05,490 --> 01:18:08,930
He was trying to hurt me and he knew
exactly how to do it.

1159
01:18:11,210 --> 01:18:14,530
Blessed are the wicked who are healed by
my hand.

1160
01:18:18,760 --> 01:18:23,340
You came into my home and took the only
thing that made it a home.

1161
01:18:26,420 --> 01:18:27,420
Sound familiar?

1162
01:18:28,800 --> 01:18:29,800
I'm sorry.

1163
01:18:30,000 --> 01:18:32,080
No, I'm really sorry.

1164
01:18:34,400 --> 01:18:35,400
Dad isn't Russell.

1165
01:18:36,540 --> 01:18:39,620
Doesn't have to be him. But you knew
what I knew. Yeah, he's got anger

1166
01:18:39,620 --> 01:18:41,940
issues. Maybe a small learning
disability.

1167
01:18:42,420 --> 01:18:43,420
Splash of diabetes.

1168
01:18:43,640 --> 01:18:45,860
But nothing that can't be fixed. If you
could go back.

1169
01:18:46,760 --> 01:18:50,080
And stop the people that took your girl,
would you? Of course I would.

1170
01:18:51,000 --> 01:18:55,240
But I wouldn't kill a kid. I'm not
asking you to kill a kid. I'll kill the

1171
01:18:55,240 --> 01:18:58,760
kid. I'm asking you to save hundreds of
other kids.

1172
01:18:59,520 --> 01:19:01,380
Russell's gonna burn down that
orphanage.

1173
01:19:01,800 --> 01:19:05,280
And I can imagine your dead girlfriend
would want you to do the right thing,

1174
01:19:05,380 --> 01:19:06,380
wouldn't she?

1175
01:19:07,080 --> 01:19:09,400
So what's it gonna be, handsome?

1176
01:19:10,380 --> 01:19:11,760
Give me a chance to save him.

1177
01:19:12,160 --> 01:19:13,340
What? You said.

1178
01:19:13,720 --> 01:19:16,680
Once he kills someone, he gets a taste
for it. If we can get to him before that

1179
01:19:16,680 --> 01:19:20,800
happens, promise you'll give me a chance
to put him on a different path.

1180
01:19:21,600 --> 01:19:22,599
Define chance.

1181
01:19:22,600 --> 01:19:25,620
I don't know. How long does it take to
save someone's soul? That's not... I'll

1182
01:19:25,620 --> 01:19:26,620
give you 30 seconds.

1183
01:19:26,640 --> 01:19:29,440
That... What? No. Best I can do, take it
or leave it.

1184
01:19:40,800 --> 01:19:41,800
He's doing it.

1185
01:19:41,960 --> 01:19:44,920
Look at the little fella. He's doing it.
There he goes.

1186
01:19:45,500 --> 01:19:46,660
Jesus Christ.

1187
01:19:48,520 --> 01:19:51,520
There you go, little fella.

1188
01:19:52,320 --> 01:19:53,800
Go on. You're doing it.

1189
01:19:54,160 --> 01:19:57,180
That beautiful, hairless,
twizzler-legged baby boy.

1190
01:19:58,440 --> 01:19:59,440
Jesus.

1191
01:20:00,340 --> 01:20:01,700
This is disturbing.

1192
01:20:02,080 --> 01:20:03,080
30 seconds.

1193
01:20:09,020 --> 01:20:10,100
Deal. Deal.

1194
01:20:13,320 --> 01:20:17,120
I have no idea what's happening.
Probably for the best.

1195
01:20:18,940 --> 01:20:23,400
And that is why you never eat a raw
starfish. It's just common sense.

1196
01:20:24,840 --> 01:20:26,120
Where the hell are we going?

1197
01:20:26,460 --> 01:20:27,460
You said it yourself.

1198
01:20:27,680 --> 01:20:30,460
Nothing can stop the Juggernaut. We need
backup.

1199
01:20:30,760 --> 01:20:32,960
I will bathe in the blood of your
enemies.

1200
01:20:37,620 --> 01:20:39,100
Can you turn off the music?

1201
01:20:40,440 --> 01:20:41,680
You'll do no such thing.

1202
01:20:42,760 --> 01:20:44,500
Why don't you just say it in an Indian
accent?

1203
01:20:44,740 --> 01:20:45,499
I'm sorry.

1204
01:20:45,500 --> 01:20:47,980
Apology accepted. This is a side of you
I do not like.

1205
01:20:48,460 --> 01:20:51,420
Let me guess, some of your best friends
in the future are Indian.

1206
01:20:51,840 --> 01:20:56,560
Once again, intolerance rears its ugly
head. I am so sorry. It gets better. I'm

1207
01:20:56,560 --> 01:20:57,880
not a racist moron.

1208
01:20:58,480 --> 01:21:01,620
Precisely what a racist would say. I'm
with the old white guy on this one.

1209
01:21:02,080 --> 01:21:03,080
That's a twist.

1210
01:21:03,280 --> 01:21:06,560
So what exactly do you do in the future
anyway, huh? Some kind of soldier?

1211
01:21:07,160 --> 01:21:08,600
Yeah, something like that.

1212
01:21:08,860 --> 01:21:09,860
I was a soldier.

1213
01:21:10,270 --> 01:21:15,050
special forces i bet 50 years from now
we're best as buddies 50 years from now

1214
01:21:15,050 --> 01:21:19,350
you're very dead your entire generation
failed this planet into a coma boom

1215
01:21:19,350 --> 01:21:26,130
spoiler alert planets there's a spoiler
i should have finished

1216
01:21:26,130 --> 01:21:31,010
college you're just an annoying clown
dressed up as a sex toy well i got news

1217
01:21:31,010 --> 01:21:34,240
for you my heart is in the right place
Russell's not gonna kill anyone.

1218
01:21:34,460 --> 01:21:37,500
Because of me, he's gonna know what real
love looks like. We're all gonna die.

1219
01:21:37,680 --> 01:21:40,800
Because of you, I'll always know what a
grown man with baby balls looks like.

1220
01:21:41,120 --> 01:21:44,820
I'm a grower, not a shower. God, I wish
this were a bus where I could pull a

1221
01:21:44,820 --> 01:21:45,820
string and get out.

1222
01:21:45,880 --> 01:21:48,540
It's a good thing Cable's not driving,
or you'd be in the back.

1223
01:21:48,760 --> 01:21:50,100
I am in the back. Right here!

1224
01:22:09,100 --> 01:22:10,100
I made mistakes.

1225
01:22:10,980 --> 01:22:12,400
I want to take them back.

1226
01:22:12,700 --> 01:22:13,960
You trusted me.

1227
01:22:14,260 --> 01:22:18,760
I took that trust and turned it into a
toilet stall in an airport bathroom.

1228
01:22:19,000 --> 01:22:20,000
The one in Minneapolis.

1229
01:22:20,760 --> 01:22:21,760
You know the one.

1230
01:22:22,160 --> 01:22:24,880
But even you know I was once an X-Man.

1231
01:22:25,360 --> 01:22:26,360
Trainee!

1232
01:22:31,040 --> 01:22:32,680
You're still using my Velcro labels.

1233
01:22:33,040 --> 01:22:35,720
Aw. They do stick better than tape. Hi.

1234
01:22:36,460 --> 01:22:40,100
Please don't. Say whatever it is you're
here to say. Make it quick.

1235
01:22:40,320 --> 01:22:41,299
Right. Quick.

1236
01:22:41,300 --> 01:22:44,940
It's this kid. Just like you, I let him
down. And just like me, he's never had

1237
01:22:44,940 --> 01:22:47,460
anyone sacrifice anything for him
because the entire world wrote him off a

1238
01:22:47,460 --> 01:22:49,940
long time ago. Look, he's teamed up with
the Juggernaut.

1239
01:22:50,180 --> 01:22:54,220
The Juggernaut. Who's like my favorite
Marvel character ever. And hi, Yukio.

1240
01:22:54,440 --> 01:22:56,760
That was really nice of you to say hi,
so I'm saying hi back.

1241
01:22:56,980 --> 01:22:58,140
You guys make a super cute couple.

1242
01:22:58,420 --> 01:23:02,500
Yeah. Where was I? Oh, yeah. You should
never meet your heroes because honestly,

1243
01:23:02,700 --> 01:23:04,560
he causes nothing but problems. Look.

1244
01:23:04,960 --> 01:23:09,200
You can stop the juggernaut. I know you
can. Do you know what would happen to me

1245
01:23:09,200 --> 01:23:10,200
if I helped you?

1246
01:23:10,440 --> 01:23:16,020
I would be disgraced. You are a
criminal, a fugitive, but worst of all,

1247
01:23:16,100 --> 01:23:17,940
you broke my heart, Wade.

1248
01:23:19,620 --> 01:23:22,240
And you know what? Your heart's in the
wrong place, big guy.

1249
01:23:22,860 --> 01:23:27,620
Doing the right thing is sometimes messy
and screwed up.

1250
01:23:27,900 --> 01:23:29,480
And not particularly convenient.

1251
01:23:29,700 --> 01:23:34,680
So stay here in Chateau Divergent while
we go get our game on.

1252
01:23:37,920 --> 01:23:39,080
You're doing great.

1253
01:23:44,760 --> 01:23:48,140
So you wear that helmet because your
brother tries to read your mind?

1254
01:23:48,380 --> 01:23:51,200
Yeah, but he's in a wheelchair, so even
Steven.

1255
01:23:51,860 --> 01:23:55,220
Someone's coming. It's Russell, sir, and
he's not alone.

1256
01:23:56,240 --> 01:23:57,480
Sure that you're...

1257
01:24:00,200 --> 01:24:01,840
They will not replace us.

1258
01:24:04,580 --> 01:24:05,580
Watch my back.

1259
01:24:05,880 --> 01:24:07,100
I got the old man.

1260
01:24:07,740 --> 01:24:08,800
Amen, brother.

1261
01:24:15,340 --> 01:24:18,080
Time to make the chimichangas. 30
seconds.

1262
01:24:19,300 --> 01:24:20,980
I finally know why I'm here.

1263
01:24:21,840 --> 01:24:23,280
I was raised in this place.

1264
01:24:24,140 --> 01:24:26,280
Well, not raised. I was tortured.

1265
01:24:26,540 --> 01:24:30,760
Wow. It's your cosmic reason for being
here. Shall we? This is going to be fun.

1266
01:24:30,880 --> 01:24:31,759
Yeah.

1267
01:24:31,760 --> 01:24:35,520
Hey, I'm going to need to ask you,
what's with the dirty, disgusting hobo

1268
01:24:35,520 --> 01:24:36,419
bear?

1269
01:24:36,420 --> 01:24:38,600
It's not dirt. It's the blood of my dead
daughter.

1270
01:24:39,740 --> 01:24:40,740
Are you Bear God?

1271
01:24:41,000 --> 01:24:42,000
It's me, Margaret.

1272
01:24:42,440 --> 01:24:43,440
Get me some.

1273
01:24:43,820 --> 01:24:47,180
They say laughter heals anything,
except, of course, that. We should just

1274
01:24:47,180 --> 01:24:48,180
cue the music.

1275
01:24:50,240 --> 01:24:53,140
We on fire. Step up in the party. Step
up in the party.

1276
01:25:13,270 --> 01:25:14,550
Welcome home, Russell.

1277
01:25:14,930 --> 01:25:15,930
We missed you.

1278
01:25:17,170 --> 01:25:20,170
Russell! You don't need to do this.
Let's talk.

1279
01:25:21,430 --> 01:25:22,970
Why are you dressed like the Unabomber?

1280
01:25:27,240 --> 01:25:28,920
That's why it was too far gone.

1281
01:25:29,200 --> 01:25:31,420
Zip it, Thanos. We have a deal and you
forgot.

1282
01:25:32,020 --> 01:25:36,880
Hey, I'm going to chop that cab driver
right up your tailpipe.

1283
01:25:37,200 --> 01:25:41,400
My body and my hands are so soft. You
should probably head back to the car.

1284
01:25:43,020 --> 01:25:45,980
It works best when you pull the trigger.

1285
01:25:48,600 --> 01:25:50,000
That gun is amazing.

1286
01:25:51,580 --> 01:25:52,580
Say it!

1287
01:25:53,720 --> 01:25:54,720
You!

1288
01:26:03,340 --> 01:26:07,920
Now I'm gonna shove the red guy up the
old guy. I believe him! Every man for

1289
01:26:07,920 --> 01:26:08,920
themselves!

1290
01:26:12,060 --> 01:26:14,280
Gotcha! Beat it, midget.

1291
01:26:17,320 --> 01:26:19,900
Hey, big guy! The sun's getting real
low!

1292
01:27:39,780 --> 01:27:42,160
You came for me.

1293
01:27:42,380 --> 01:27:46,680
I'm not giving up on you, and you are
not giving up on that boy. Who says that

1294
01:27:46,680 --> 01:27:47,840
rules aren't meant to be broken?

1295
01:27:48,080 --> 01:27:49,920
It's time to fight dirty.

1296
01:27:50,240 --> 01:27:51,400
Time to sweep the leg, Johnny.

1297
01:27:51,680 --> 01:27:54,060
Hey! Make on someone your own size.

1298
01:27:54,360 --> 01:27:57,420
That's such a you thing to say. Go get
him, Tiger!

1299
01:27:58,140 --> 01:28:00,260
Big CGI fight coming up.

1300
01:28:17,840 --> 01:28:18,840
He's doing great.

1301
01:28:18,940 --> 01:28:19,940
Say it!

1302
01:28:24,320 --> 01:28:25,340
Awesome. Bingo.

1303
01:28:30,100 --> 01:28:31,100
Great.

1304
01:28:31,320 --> 01:28:33,740
A bunch of armed pedophiles in nursing
shoes.

1305
01:28:34,140 --> 01:28:35,360
Can I have one of those guns?

1306
01:28:36,400 --> 01:28:37,400
No.

1307
01:28:37,640 --> 01:28:38,640
That's fine.

1308
01:28:39,480 --> 01:28:40,740
I'm just gonna use this brick.

1309
01:28:41,180 --> 01:28:45,360
It says you can't go home again.

1310
01:28:51,980 --> 01:28:52,980
Say it!

1311
01:28:53,280 --> 01:28:54,280
Say it!

1312
01:28:54,320 --> 01:28:57,420
Blessed are the wicked who were healed
by my hand!

1313
01:28:57,900 --> 01:29:02,540
Blessed are the wicked who were healed
by my hand.

1314
01:29:35,690 --> 01:29:37,330
Best buddies execute pedophiles
together.

1315
01:29:44,870 --> 01:29:46,890
I'll need a bus to get you all out of
here.

1316
01:29:52,910 --> 01:29:55,650
Orphans? Oh, geez.

1317
01:29:57,490 --> 01:30:02,930
It's time to burn for you! A child
should not be burdened with such power!

1318
01:30:10,360 --> 01:30:11,360
Russell! Wait!

1319
01:30:17,900 --> 01:30:18,900
Wait!

1320
01:30:23,360 --> 01:30:26,720
He hasn't killed anyone yet! What more
do you need to see? No, he's just a kid!

1321
01:30:26,840 --> 01:30:27,839
Come on, tick-tock.

1322
01:30:27,840 --> 01:30:28,840
Peter's running.

1323
01:30:41,710 --> 01:30:43,490
I'm gonna make a necklace out of your
teeth.

1324
01:31:27,150 --> 01:31:29,250
That's how we do it in Mother Russia.

1325
01:31:30,710 --> 01:31:33,470
Oh, they say millennials are the hardest
to reach.

1326
01:31:33,870 --> 01:31:36,270
Oh, no, you're doing amazing.

1327
01:31:36,830 --> 01:31:38,930
Damn, it feels good to be a gangster.

1328
01:31:42,270 --> 01:31:43,750
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

1329
01:31:45,330 --> 01:31:48,510
He dies tonight, Wade.

1330
01:31:48,930 --> 01:31:50,430
You can't stop me.

1331
01:31:51,350 --> 01:31:55,550
He even runs like a pervert. Like an
online predator who lost his laptop.

1332
01:31:57,470 --> 01:32:00,530
One bullet left in that gun. Wait, wait,
wait, wait. Just give me a second.

1333
01:32:00,850 --> 01:32:01,850
I got this.

1334
01:32:02,590 --> 01:32:03,590
Stay back!

1335
01:32:03,670 --> 01:32:04,670
Go on, wait!

1336
01:32:04,850 --> 01:32:05,509
Let's talk.

1337
01:32:05,510 --> 01:32:06,670
It doesn't have to go this way.

1338
01:32:07,390 --> 01:32:11,550
That piece of shit, he deserves to die
for what he did to you. He hurt you

1339
01:32:11,550 --> 01:32:12,550
badly.

1340
01:32:13,610 --> 01:32:17,090
But look, if you kill him, he wins.

1341
01:32:17,770 --> 01:32:20,610
You become everything he says you are,
but worse.

1342
01:32:21,950 --> 01:32:22,950
You're just a kid.

1343
01:32:23,790 --> 01:32:24,810
You don't want to hurt anyone.

1344
01:32:26,990 --> 01:32:29,190
It isn't too late. Don't do it.

1345
01:32:34,930 --> 01:32:36,310
I never should have left you there.

1346
01:32:38,910 --> 01:32:40,530
I never should have left you in that
prison.

1347
01:32:41,210 --> 01:32:41,630
I

1348
01:32:41,630 --> 01:32:49,150
can't

1349
01:32:49,150 --> 01:32:50,150
trust you.

1350
01:32:51,750 --> 01:32:53,390
I can't trust any...

1351
01:33:08,490 --> 01:33:09,510
I got one more idea.

1352
01:33:10,710 --> 01:33:14,290
It's just a really bad one, even for me.
Wade, what are you doing?

1353
01:33:14,730 --> 01:33:16,310
This is for all the marbles, kid.

1354
01:33:17,170 --> 01:33:18,550
You gonna kill someone today?

1355
01:33:19,570 --> 01:33:20,650
Listen, I'm the Wicked.

1356
01:33:20,970 --> 01:33:22,150
Then it's gotta be me.

1357
01:33:24,090 --> 01:33:25,790
Way out by my head!

1358
01:33:35,010 --> 01:33:36,770
The sun will come out.

1359
01:33:39,880 --> 01:33:45,200
It's your bottom dollar that tomorrow
there'll be sun.

1360
01:33:46,580 --> 01:33:53,500
When I'm stuck with a day that's gray
and lonely, I

1361
01:33:53,500 --> 01:33:57,720
just stick out my chin and grin and say,

1362
01:33:57,840 --> 01:34:00,820
oh.

1363
01:34:05,940 --> 01:34:09,300
The sun will come out tomorrow.

1364
01:34:11,980 --> 01:34:16,140
Until tomorrow come what may.

1365
01:34:17,780 --> 01:34:21,840
Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you.

1366
01:34:22,060 --> 01:34:27,340
Tomorrow, you're always a day away.

1367
01:34:29,660 --> 01:34:34,680
Tell me they got that in slow motion.

1368
01:34:34,980 --> 01:34:40,980
Oh, that's not good.

1369
01:34:43,340 --> 01:34:44,340
No, sir.

1370
01:34:50,620 --> 01:34:54,260
You sacrificed yourself for me.

1371
01:34:54,880 --> 01:34:57,780
Yeah, and it was the best thing I ever
did.

1372
01:34:58,880 --> 01:35:00,540
I told you I care about you.

1373
01:35:01,340 --> 01:35:02,740
You're a good kid, Russell.

1374
01:35:04,080 --> 01:35:05,080
Hey.

1375
01:35:06,320 --> 01:35:07,318
The bear.

1376
01:35:07,320 --> 01:35:08,320
It worked.

1377
01:35:15,240 --> 01:35:16,240
Because of you.

1378
01:35:16,360 --> 01:35:17,360
No, Wade.

1379
01:35:17,700 --> 01:35:18,700
Because of you.

1380
01:35:19,160 --> 01:35:20,160
Stop. Stop!

1381
01:35:20,460 --> 01:35:21,620
Stop. Stop.

1382
01:35:22,440 --> 01:35:24,660
Just... Just let it happen.

1383
01:35:25,160 --> 01:35:26,160
Okay?

1384
01:35:26,380 --> 01:35:29,360
I guess... I guess my heart was finally
in the right place.

1385
01:35:29,720 --> 01:35:31,820
Oh, that riddle is so messed up.

1386
01:35:36,720 --> 01:35:41,060
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Don't be. I've
been trying to make this happen for a

1387
01:35:41,060 --> 01:35:42,360
while. Yeah, please, just...

1388
01:35:42,590 --> 01:35:45,270
Don't leave me. I don't want to die
without an audience. We are not going

1389
01:35:45,270 --> 01:35:48,190
anywhere. Oh, I know. I hope the Academy
is watching.

1390
01:35:48,390 --> 01:35:49,390
Let's rest, okay?

1391
01:35:50,950 --> 01:35:51,950
Papa?

1392
01:35:53,110 --> 01:35:54,790
Papa, can you hear me?

1393
01:35:57,330 --> 01:35:59,290
Papa, can you find me?

1394
01:36:00,490 --> 01:36:01,490
Hey.

1395
01:36:24,560 --> 01:36:28,340
Before I go, sorry, I got a bit more in
me.

1396
01:36:28,800 --> 01:36:33,740
Domino, I want you to have my Adventure
Time watch.

1397
01:36:36,760 --> 01:36:39,440
Turns out that I'm the lucky one.

1398
01:36:40,520 --> 01:36:41,520
Thank you.

1399
01:36:43,000 --> 01:36:48,040
Hey, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, it has
been a pleasure.

1400
01:36:50,300 --> 01:36:51,300
Hi, Yukio.

1401
01:36:52,260 --> 01:36:53,260
Hello.

1402
01:36:54,920 --> 01:36:57,500
And you, Chromebone.

1403
01:36:58,680 --> 01:37:00,680
I haven't always been the best friend to
you.

1404
01:37:01,840 --> 01:37:03,420
But you've always been that to me.

1405
01:37:04,280 --> 01:37:05,280
So thank you.

1406
01:37:07,620 --> 01:37:08,960
Save the F word for me.

1407
01:37:10,220 --> 01:37:12,860
Just once. Come on. We'll do it
together. It's no big deal.

1408
01:37:13,080 --> 01:37:14,140
Here we go. One, two, three.

1409
01:37:16,060 --> 01:37:17,060
Wow.

1410
01:37:18,620 --> 01:37:20,560
Enjoy hell, swamp mouth.

1411
01:37:21,740 --> 01:37:22,860
And you.

1412
01:37:24,130 --> 01:37:31,050
Gable, you get back to your family, you
tell them Wade says hi, and promise me,

1413
01:37:31,070 --> 01:37:36,290
promise me one thing, that you'll start
judging people not by the color of their

1414
01:37:36,290 --> 01:37:37,910
skin, but by the content of their
character.

1415
01:37:39,190 --> 01:37:40,690
Jesus. Stardog!

1416
01:37:42,690 --> 01:37:48,110
Look, family is not an F word, all
right?

1417
01:37:48,790 --> 01:37:50,250
There's one out there for you.

1418
01:37:51,130 --> 01:37:52,670
Just keep looking, okay?

1419
01:37:57,060 --> 01:38:01,440
Guys, for a second there, we made a
pretty good team.

1420
01:38:05,440 --> 01:38:07,100
Can you see it?

1421
01:38:08,720 --> 01:38:10,460
Do you see that beautiful bright light?

1422
01:38:12,240 --> 01:38:13,240
There it is.

1423
01:38:19,640 --> 01:38:22,180
Oh, that's the sun. Don't stare directly
into that.

1424
01:38:22,820 --> 01:38:24,460
I just have a few final words.

1425
01:38:29,110 --> 01:38:30,330
Do you want to build a snowman?

1426
01:39:11,710 --> 01:39:13,510
Talking away.

1427
01:39:14,590 --> 01:39:20,210
Oh, I don't know what I'm to say. I'll
say it anyway.

1428
01:39:21,810 --> 01:39:27,970
Today is another day to find you shying
away.

1429
01:39:29,670 --> 01:39:35,850
I'll be coming for your love, okay, and
take on.

1430
01:39:47,380 --> 01:39:48,380
Sorry I'm late.

1431
01:39:48,840 --> 01:39:52,440
There's a bunch of handicapable children
who are stuck in a tree.

1432
01:39:52,700 --> 01:39:53,700
No.

1433
01:39:53,800 --> 01:39:55,520
But I did have to help a kid.

1434
01:39:56,200 --> 01:39:59,000
Yeah. He's got a terrible name. It's
just awful.

1435
01:39:59,260 --> 01:40:00,420
I tried to tell him.

1436
01:40:02,440 --> 01:40:03,440
Is this heaven?

1437
01:40:09,390 --> 01:40:10,430
I'm so sorry.

1438
01:40:11,910 --> 01:40:12,910
It's okay.

1439
01:40:21,310 --> 01:40:22,030
I

1440
01:40:22,030 --> 01:40:33,930
missed

1441
01:40:33,930 --> 01:40:34,930
you so much.

1442
01:40:41,000 --> 01:40:42,100
What is it? What's wrong?

1443
01:40:44,460 --> 01:40:45,460
It's not time.

1444
01:40:46,520 --> 01:40:49,700
What do you mean it's not time? I'm
here. I made it.

1445
01:40:50,140 --> 01:40:52,560
You can't stay. No, no, no, no, no. I'm
staying.

1446
01:40:52,900 --> 01:40:54,400
I'm not going anywhere without you.

1447
01:40:54,900 --> 01:40:55,900
It's okay.

1448
01:40:56,420 --> 01:40:58,440
There's a time for us. It's just not
now.

1449
01:41:00,040 --> 01:41:01,040
They need you.

1450
01:41:01,380 --> 01:41:02,380
Who?

1451
01:41:04,640 --> 01:41:05,640
Your F word.

1452
01:41:07,260 --> 01:41:08,260
Why?

1453
01:41:08,540 --> 01:41:09,540
You'll find out.

1454
01:41:11,560 --> 01:41:12,560
I love you.

1455
01:41:12,640 --> 01:41:13,740
I love you.

1456
01:41:16,580 --> 01:41:17,580
I know.

1457
01:41:18,000 --> 01:41:19,000
Now go.

1458
01:41:20,320 --> 01:41:21,700
Go on, go. Get out of here.

1459
01:41:23,500 --> 01:41:24,500
Go.

1460
01:41:27,440 --> 01:41:28,440
Hey.

1461
01:41:30,940 --> 01:41:32,680
Kiss me like you miss me, Red.

1462
01:41:33,940 --> 01:41:34,940
Well, come here.

1463
01:41:49,680 --> 01:41:50,680
Hold the mustard.

1464
01:41:50,820 --> 01:41:51,880
Are you crying? No.

1465
01:41:52,260 --> 01:41:55,100
Yes, you are. No, I'm not. You got
emotion juice coming out of your eye

1466
01:41:55,100 --> 01:41:58,380
holes. That's not me. I'm not crying. I
think it's this dusty soundstage. Oh,

1467
01:41:58,420 --> 01:42:00,940
really? Or bedroom. It's a dusty
bedroom. Thank you. That's normal.

1468
01:42:01,140 --> 01:42:02,140
Let it out.

1469
01:42:03,200 --> 01:42:04,139
Are you crying?

1470
01:42:04,140 --> 01:42:05,139
Yeah, you are.

1471
01:42:05,140 --> 01:42:07,780
And I'm caught off guard because the
movie's so bad. It's complete garbage.

1472
01:42:08,020 --> 01:42:09,020
It's very compelling.

1473
01:42:09,120 --> 01:42:11,540
Yeah. There's something that really
resonates with me. I gotta get to you.

1474
01:42:12,540 --> 01:42:14,540
There is more.

1475
01:42:14,900 --> 01:42:16,760
I would love to read it to you, Fred
Savage.

1476
01:42:17,400 --> 01:42:18,720
Once again, Wade.

1477
01:42:19,050 --> 01:42:21,830
Picked up the love of his life in his
approachably shredded arms.

1478
01:42:29,290 --> 01:42:30,290
It's all right.

1479
01:42:31,030 --> 01:42:32,030
I'll be waiting.

1480
01:42:33,490 --> 01:42:35,210
It's pretty awesome up here.

1481
01:42:35,890 --> 01:42:37,690
I can have anything I want.

1482
01:42:38,150 --> 01:42:40,370
Can every day be International Women's
Day?

1483
01:42:40,650 --> 01:42:41,650
It is heaven.

1484
01:42:52,750 --> 01:42:56,890
Time to make the chimichangas. Hey, I
needed to ask you, what's with the

1485
01:42:56,890 --> 01:42:58,710
creepy, dirty hobo bear?

1486
01:42:58,990 --> 01:43:00,230
He's my daughter's teddy bear.

1487
01:43:00,750 --> 01:43:01,830
Her name's Hope.

1488
01:43:02,270 --> 01:43:05,830
Well, what are you doing?

1489
01:43:06,470 --> 01:43:07,790
Somebody swiped right.

1490
01:43:20,590 --> 01:43:23,070
Tell me they got that in slow motion.

1491
01:43:24,210 --> 01:43:29,690
You sacrificed yourself for me. Yeah,
with Steve, I...

1492
01:43:29,690 --> 01:43:32,590
Huh.

1493
01:43:34,570 --> 01:43:36,290
Genuine, high-grade lead.

1494
01:43:38,490 --> 01:43:42,710
You time-sliding son of a bitch. You did
this for me?

1495
01:43:45,010 --> 01:43:47,230
Wait. You can't go back.

1496
01:43:48,320 --> 01:43:50,660
You used the last of your fuel. What
about your girl, your wife?

1497
01:43:51,100 --> 01:43:52,420
No, my family's safe.

1498
01:43:52,920 --> 01:43:54,180
And I didn't do it for you.

1499
01:43:56,240 --> 01:43:57,940
No, I'm gonna stick around for a while.

1500
01:43:58,520 --> 01:44:01,140
Make sure the world doesn't shit itself
into oblivion.

1501
01:44:02,540 --> 01:44:04,900
Oh, you did it for me.

1502
01:44:06,040 --> 01:44:07,040
No, I didn't.

1503
01:44:07,460 --> 01:44:08,279
You did.

1504
01:44:08,280 --> 01:44:11,400
I really didn't. Pretty sure you did.
No, I'm positive I didn't. Fine. All

1505
01:44:11,400 --> 01:44:12,420
right, let's flip a coin, okay?

1506
01:44:12,900 --> 01:44:13,900
Heads, you did it for me.

1507
01:44:14,100 --> 01:44:15,300
Tails, you did it for me.

1508
01:44:15,640 --> 01:44:18,680
I'm not even going to look because you
did it for me. We must get the call at

1509
01:44:18,680 --> 01:44:19,900
all. Forget it. It's no use.

1510
01:44:20,120 --> 01:44:21,940
These callers don't just come off. Wait.

1511
01:44:23,460 --> 01:44:24,480
I have an idea.

1512
01:44:25,480 --> 01:44:29,440
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Let's not do
that, please. I'd rather die of cancer.

1513
01:44:29,640 --> 01:44:33,020
Let's just... Oh, gosh, they do say the
pen is grosser than the sword.

1514
01:44:34,220 --> 01:44:35,240
We need a code.

1515
01:44:35,800 --> 01:44:37,400
Try, uh, seven?

1516
01:44:37,680 --> 01:44:40,420
Settle down, Captain Lucky. It's not
going to be one number.

1517
01:44:40,940 --> 01:44:42,100
God, that's lazy writing.

1518
01:44:42,840 --> 01:44:43,840
I still got it.

1519
01:44:47,020 --> 01:44:49,040
Put that back in your prison wallet.

1520
01:44:49,720 --> 01:44:54,220
I don't know how to thank you, but I do
know how to hug you.

1521
01:44:54,700 --> 01:44:56,700
No. Yes. Here we go.

1522
01:44:56,940 --> 01:44:57,879
Bring it in.

1523
01:44:57,880 --> 01:44:58,880
Come on.

1524
01:44:59,100 --> 01:45:00,100
Pelvis to pelvis.

1525
01:45:00,600 --> 01:45:04,440
Let's go tummy to tummy. There we go.
The kids call this tummying.

1526
01:45:05,400 --> 01:45:09,020
Is there a knife in my lower extremity?
There's a knife in your leg, yeah. No

1527
01:45:09,020 --> 01:45:11,280
need to go full yentl.

1528
01:45:11,900 --> 01:45:13,180
Pretend like that never happened.

1529
01:45:14,220 --> 01:45:15,220
Let's go home, Russell.

1530
01:45:19,820 --> 01:45:23,940
All you dirty mutants are gonna rot in
hell with a boy!

1531
01:45:24,240 --> 01:45:26,800
Your souls are beyond redemption!

1532
01:45:27,280 --> 01:45:30,140
Let's see your soul perv! No! No! No! No
more!

1533
01:45:30,640 --> 01:45:32,420
We're better than that! We're better
than him!

1534
01:45:32,660 --> 01:45:36,900
No more senseless violence! No more
bloodshed! We'll let karma take care of

1535
01:45:36,900 --> 01:45:39,660
him! The day of reckoning is here!

1536
01:45:49,520 --> 01:45:51,500
I'm gonna miss him. He seemed great.

1537
01:45:51,780 --> 01:45:54,280
Woo! God, it's just my power!

1538
01:45:55,600 --> 01:45:59,320
Woo! I could hear you coming the last 30
seconds. I could barely keep a straight

1539
01:45:59,320 --> 01:46:00,940
face. I want some more.

1540
01:46:01,240 --> 01:46:06,220
I bet you do, Brown Panther. We should
leave before Fudger now wakes up.

1541
01:46:06,560 --> 01:46:08,400
Good call. You guys coming with us?

1542
01:46:08,680 --> 01:46:10,300
No, we'll get the kids back to the
mansion.

1543
01:46:11,100 --> 01:46:12,120
Besides, we're X-Men.

1544
01:46:12,520 --> 01:46:14,660
No, you're X-People.

1545
01:46:15,400 --> 01:46:16,400
You're exhausting.

1546
01:46:16,780 --> 01:46:17,780
I see what you did there.

1547
01:46:18,220 --> 01:46:21,980
Puns. Our door's always open. That's
kind, but I'm not ready to date again,

1548
01:46:22,080 --> 01:46:23,080
let alone two women.

1549
01:46:23,760 --> 01:46:24,760
Bye, Nate.

1550
01:46:25,080 --> 01:46:26,080
Bye, Yukio.

1551
01:46:28,800 --> 01:46:32,980
What do you get when you take eight feet
of chrome, one pinch of courage, a cup

1552
01:46:32,980 --> 01:46:37,760
of good luck, a dab of racism, a splash
of diabetes, and a wheelbarrow full of

1553
01:46:37,760 --> 01:46:38,760
stage four cancer?

1554
01:46:39,340 --> 01:46:41,100
Answer, a family.

1555
01:46:41,960 --> 01:46:44,540
See? I didn't lie what kind of film this
was.

1556
01:46:45,260 --> 01:46:48,440
If there's anything you take away today
other than the need to Google, what the

1557
01:46:48,440 --> 01:46:49,440
heck is dubstep?

1558
01:46:49,620 --> 01:46:52,120
It's that we all need to belong to
someone.

1559
01:47:25,680 --> 01:47:32,560
what to say maybe I just wouldn't know
what to do with my strength

1560
01:47:32,560 --> 01:47:39,180
anyway have we become a habit do we

1561
01:47:39,180 --> 01:47:46,080
distort the facts now there's no looking
forward now

1562
01:47:46,080 --> 01:47:52,280
there's no turning back when you say we
belong to the light we belong to the

1563
01:48:49,360 --> 01:48:53,480
After-credits scenes. I love
after-credits scenes. They feel so

1564
01:48:53,480 --> 01:48:55,940
private, you know? Because it's just you
in the theater. Everyone's left.

1565
01:48:56,360 --> 01:48:58,220
But you know something.

1566
01:48:59,020 --> 01:49:00,020
You stayed.

1567
01:49:18,060 --> 01:49:22,980
Something so small generates enough
energy to reverse time. Oh, just fix it,

1568
01:49:23,040 --> 01:49:25,280
Eleven, or I'll take it to the Genius
Bar.

1569
01:49:25,760 --> 01:49:28,440
Cable's gonna kill you when he finds
out. Never heard of him.

1570
01:49:28,680 --> 01:49:29,680
Why do you think I'm helping him?

1571
01:49:31,040 --> 01:49:34,000
The Lord works in mysterious ways, don't
I?

1572
01:49:34,300 --> 01:49:35,300
A good day.

1573
01:49:36,500 --> 01:49:37,500
Bye, Wade.

1574
01:49:37,940 --> 01:49:38,940
Bye, Ukiyo.

1575
01:49:40,180 --> 01:49:42,240
That was probably a bad idea.

1576
01:50:01,710 --> 01:50:03,610
I hope you sharpened the cream cheese
spreader.

1577
01:50:09,510 --> 01:50:10,770
I'll be right back.

1578
01:50:12,850 --> 01:50:15,430
We're definitely naming our kids Cher!

1579
01:50:16,970 --> 01:50:17,970
Peter!

1580
01:50:20,050 --> 01:50:22,490
X-Force! Walk away!

1581
01:50:22,750 --> 01:50:23,930
Just walk away!

1582
01:50:27,150 --> 01:50:30,530
X-Force is just a marketing tool
designed by Fox executives to keep Josh

1583
01:50:30,530 --> 01:50:31,530
Brolin employed.

1584
01:50:31,550 --> 01:50:32,550
It doesn't exist.

1585
01:50:32,870 --> 01:50:35,930
All right, well, this has been pretty
scary.

1586
01:50:36,390 --> 01:50:37,950
And I need to feed my cat.

1587
01:50:38,210 --> 01:50:40,210
Go home, Sugar Bear. Go home.

1588
01:50:40,850 --> 01:50:43,670
Okay. Will you give Domino my emails?

1589
01:50:48,930 --> 01:50:49,930
Wait,

1590
01:50:51,450 --> 01:50:54,090
is that you?

1591
01:50:58,019 --> 01:51:00,160
Stryker finally figured out how to shut
you up.

1592
01:51:05,740 --> 01:51:08,020
Hey, it's me.

1593
01:51:08,620 --> 01:51:09,620
Don't scratch.

1594
01:51:09,900 --> 01:51:11,280
Just cleaning up the timelines.

1595
01:51:12,480 --> 01:51:13,480
Love you.

1596
01:51:16,400 --> 01:51:17,780
Welcome to the big leagues, kid.

1597
01:51:21,540 --> 01:51:23,600
You're welcome, Canada.

1598
01:51:31,150 --> 01:51:36,450
like someone took a nap and drove it
deep in my heart and walked out that

1599
01:51:36,450 --> 01:51:42,950
door i saw that i didn't care but i lost
everything darling too

1600
01:51:42,950 --> 01:51:49,370
strong to tell you i was sorry

1601
01:51:49,370 --> 01:51:53,390
too proud to tell you i was wrong

1602
01:52:31,690 --> 01:52:37,870
If I could turn back time If I could
turn back time

1603
01:52:37,870 --> 01:52:44,450
If I could turn back time Oh,

1604
01:52:44,610 --> 01:52:45,870
baby

1605
01:52:45,870 --> 01:52:53,330
I

1606
01:52:53,330 --> 01:52:59,610
didn't really mean to hurt you I didn't
want to see you go

1607
01:54:00,080 --> 01:54:05,680
What's left to say? These prayers aren't
working anymore

1608
01:54:05,680 --> 01:54:12,200
Every word shot down in

1609
01:54:12,200 --> 01:54:18,960
flames What's left to do

1610
01:54:18,960 --> 01:54:23,160
with these broken pieces on the floor?

1611
01:54:33,450 --> 01:54:37,450
Cause I've been shaking, I've been bad

1612
01:55:27,500 --> 01:55:34,420
use these tears to put out the fires in
my soul cause

1613
01:55:34,420 --> 01:55:39,200
I need you here cause

1614
01:55:39,200 --> 01:55:43,960
I've been

1615
01:56:50,850 --> 01:56:51,850
The end.

1616
01:56:53,690 --> 01:56:56,710
Just in time, because I've lost almost
all feeling in my legs.

1617
01:56:59,110 --> 01:57:00,770
Ooh, they feel fine.

1618
01:57:01,270 --> 01:57:02,270
Can I go?

1619
01:57:02,450 --> 01:57:03,450
As you wish.

1620
01:57:06,170 --> 01:57:08,490
That must feel good. Yes, thank you.
Yeah.

1621
01:57:11,390 --> 01:57:14,670
Come on. Whoa, easy now. Hey, easy now.
Here you go. Come on.

1622
01:57:15,010 --> 01:57:18,470
Take it slow. Take it slow. Baby, I
can't feel my legs. I can't feel my

1623
01:57:18,470 --> 01:57:19,470
legs. I know, yeah.

1624
01:57:19,790 --> 01:57:21,850
You've been asleep for three days,
buddy.

1625
01:57:22,410 --> 01:57:26,190
Come on. Three days? Yeah, three days.
I've been there for three days?

1626
01:57:26,410 --> 01:57:27,890
Yeah. Why so long?

1627
01:57:28,310 --> 01:57:29,310
That's too long.